10 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Partner (And Move On)
Want to know what are the signs you should break up with your partner? Then you are in the right place.
Constant criticism (of the person and not the behavior, that can be changed), indifference and neglect – according to scientists, these are some of the signals that should help couples decide to break up.
More and more often “Should I stay or should I go” plays in your head, the stars in the sky form a “turn around” arrow?
If you have been wondering for some time whether you should end a relationship that does not satisfy you, scientists have some pointers for you.
The world of psychology is full of research on relationships, particularly the ones that do not work. Here are 10 signs that a breakup is the smartest thing you can do for yourself.
Signs You Have To Break Up With Your Partner
1. Constant criticism
It’s not about attracting attention because of unwashed dishes. It’s more about the constant criticism of the person than about his behavior, which can be changed.
These are harmful, useless, often demeaning comments that express a basic lack of kindness and acceptance.
For example, if your partner leaves his socks all over it, it will damage the relationship to deduce from this particular carelessness the entire personality of your partner or infer the emotions he has for you.
According to Professor John Gottman’s theory, criticism is among the so-called four riders of the apocalypse.
If your partner engages in any of these four behaviors and does not change them, despite your pleas and attempts to talk, it may seem worth considering a breakup.
2. Humiliation
If your partner rolls his eyes (and that is not funny or sassy in any way) and is impolite when you discuss something important to you, it means that contempt has crept into the relationship.
This feeling of reluctance, disrespect, and a sense of superiority. If this does not change, it is time to say goodbye.
3. Defense
Your partner thinks the best defense is to attack? Trying to resolve the conflict only leads to an intensification of the conflict?
Attention is met with “but you always …”.
Admit it: it is hard to build closeness with a partner who responds to a loved one’s fears with comments (e.g. “Honey, it bothers me when you leave dirty dishes on the table or can you clean them up”, you hear “Well, I get annoyed when you don’t do the washing up.”) plate”.)
4. Indifference
Lack of involvement in the relationship, withdrawing emotionally, closing down, changing the subject, avoiding eye contact, leaving the room… What reminds you?
If your partner turns into an iceberg when you bring up issues that are important to you or your relationship, it is a red flag warning you that it is better to end the relationship.
5. Physical violence
Physical violence is enough to end a relationship. It is an act of aggression meant to hurt your partner and is not wanted by them.
6. Psychological violence
Manipulating, humiliating, controlling, intimidating (such as breaking things or threatening to take children), extinguishing…. This is a sign that you need to evacuate as soon as possible.
This is even more so because mental abuse often turns into physical violence over time, according to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
7. Divergent values
Opposites attract each other, but it is similarity that allows us to build close relationships (1).
Religions, political views, attitudes toward money – the more different the more they are, the more they will become bone of contention.
“It’s about the perception of similarity. – If I think my partner and I look alike, that’s a good sign. What a great satisfaction to see yourself in your partner.
If everything seems to suggest that you’re more different, it may be time for a significant “we need to talk.”
8. Disproportionate involvement
One party wants stability, the other party is still unsure?
There is usually something else behind this lack of readiness – uncertainty about whether this is the right person and treating the relationship as ‘temporary’.
In addition, people who are less involved are usually more powerful. This situation is a threat to the relationship.
The less involved partner becomes increasingly irritated by the pressure from the other person involved and the other becomes increasingly frustrated.
9. Betrayal
History knows cases where it was betrayal that soured relations.
Unfortunately, research shows that there is a greater chance that the person who committed the betrayal will do so again,” said Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist at the University of Washington.
10. Satisfaction dwindles
If your relationship is not helping you in self-fulfillment, if you are not growing from it, then it may be a sign that the relationship is dying. . (Conversely, when your partner helps you achieve personal goals, you feel good about your relationship.)
First, it’s worth adding to the fire, trying to find ways to satisfy needs within the framework of accepted norms outside the relationship.
If this doesn’t help, involvement in the relationship decreases, there’s a feeling of burnout and the risk of betrayal.
A final sign or a worse moment?
Not every scratch is an invite to break up. After all, ups and downs are written in a long term relationship.
So how to recognize if this is a short-term crisis or a relationship is about to collapse? There’s no easy answer.
A study published in 2002 by the Institute for American Values showed that 3 out of 4 unhappy marriages emerge from crisis after 5 years (2).
As we read in Social Networks magazine and Life Course, a 2018 survey of over 1,600 couples found that the graph of satisfaction and time spent together is U-shaped: satisfaction gradually declines over the first 20 years of marriage until it fluctuates.
However, this does not must be your story and if you feel specifically unhappy in your relationship, consider the survey journal Social Forces published from 2005.
This clearly shows that people trapped in unsatisfactory marriages are more unhappy and complain of poorer health than those who are divorced.
A farewell that wasn’t as bad as they made it out to be!
Thanks for reading this article on the signs you should break up with your partner and I actually hope you take action on my advice.
I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.