How To Remove Worry From Your Life: Proven Steps And Strategies
Today you’re going to learn how to remove worry from your life. We all have things to worry about. It is a natural part of life. But when you worry about the small things, it takes away from your enjoyment of the big things.
Worrying about everything can cause depression and anxiety. You may have difficulty concentrating, and it can affect your job, family and general well being. It is important to find out how to stop worrying excessively so that you can enjoy life to the fullest.
When you stop worrying about the wrong things you feel free. It lets you focus on solutions to the big problems in life. Instead of being debilitated by fear, you’ll have the ability to function on a higher level.
I will provide you with steps and techniques that will help you end your worrying once and for all. If you follow these strategies, you’ll gradually let go of your worry and live a better life.
How To Remove Worry From Your Life:
It’s okay to worry sometimes. But you must worry about the right things. There are quite a lot of things that cause people worry, when in reality this stuff should just be let go. Most of the time the little things that aren’t worth worrying about are also not worth the time it takes for you to consider it at all.
Learning to let go of this stuff will greatly decrease the amount of time that you spend worrying.
Recognizing what you should and shouldn’t worry about is the first step to stopping this bad habit.
THE PAST
You should never worry about the past, or how it’s going to affect future situations. The past is just that—the past. Unless you’re able to build a time machine, you can’t change it. Whether it’s something that happened years ago, or simply regret over something you said a few hours ago, it can’t be undone. You can only move on and make the better of the future.
Example: You have been robbed in the past, and are worried about being robbed again. Being robbed is a horrible thing to undergo, but you can’t let it control you. If someone is going to rob you, there really isn’t much you can do about it. But, there are things you can do to stop it from happening, such as ensuring the door is locked or that you’re not out walking alone at night.
THINGS YOU CANNOT CONTROL
There is no use in worrying about things you can’t control. If something is going on now or is going to occur that you can do nothing about, worrying is not going to stop that thing from happening.
In fact, worrying is counterproductive in these situations. Instead of worrying about the thing you can’t control, focus on what you can control. You can control the way that you react to situations and events. Having a positive attitude and taking initiative to deal with the fall out will make you much happier and naturally decrease your worry.
Example: There is a thunderstorm in the spring and you live in the Midwest. Tornadoes often spring from inclement weather. Perhaps there’s even a twister watch in effect. You cannot control whether or not that twister is going to hit. You can, however, turn on a weather radio and place yourself in a safe room with no windows and enough cover. You are prepared for the weather, without letting the concern consume you.
THINGS OTHER PEOPLE DO
You cannot control the actions of others. If someone is going to take an action or say something wrong there’s nothing you can do to change it. Again, the only thing you can do is focus on your reaction to the situation. Prepare yourself mentally for the possible outcomes and let it go.
Constantly worrying about what someone will do or say is fully pointless, and will only make you that much more upset when something is finished that leads to trouble.
Example: Your young adult daughter is making poor choices that could affect her life indefinitely.
Let’s say your daughter doesn’t even live with you. As an adult, she is in command of her own choices.
You haven’t any control over what she does. However, you can prepare yourself for dealing with the fall out. Whenever you end up worrying about her, refocus your thoughts to consider what you can do to help her when she hits bottom.
THINGS YOU CAN EASILY CHANGE
If situations come up that cause you worry and there’s something that can be done about it, there is really no cause to worry. Instead of spending your energy worrying about the situation, focus your efforts on finding solutions.
What will you do to correct the problem? Some people worry about things of this nature because they’ve never learned good problem solving skills, or find themselves unable to focus on finding solutions.
Example: You forget to pay your gas bill and you receive a notice that they’re going to shut off your gas. It is the middle of the winter, and a big snowstorm is going to hit in a day or so. You receive the notice late, and have only a day to pay the bill. Instead of worrying about what you will do without gas in the bitter cold weather, focus on how to get that bill paid.
You could pull money out of savings, juggle around other bills to come up with the money, take a loan from your bank or a friend, or call a local charity for support. If you do all of this stuff and aren’t able to pay the bill, you can focus your efforts on finding other arrangements, such as electrical space heaters or staying with a friend for a couple of days until the bill can be paid.
Letting Go of Your Worry
It may look like a really difficult thing to do, but you must let go of your worry. You cannot function mentally when you’re holding on to worry about anything. Learning to let go is the most vital thing you can do to improve your life.
There are several things you can do to let go of your worry depending on the type of stress causing it. Learning how to do this stuff is half the battle. Once you have let go of the emotions or stress the concern will naturally melt away.
TALK TO A THERAPIST
If you have issues major issues with your past that are causing you to worry about the present or the future, such as a robbery, it can be very helpful to talk to a therapist. Exploring your emotions stemming from the event can greatly assist you in putting your worry to rest. The therapist can help you go over what happened in detail, examining what you could have done differently. If there really was nothing you could have done, this can be discovered and dealt with also.
When you address the underlying problems that are causing your worry and work through them you’ll naturally let go of your worry of the future. A therapist can even offer you additional tools and techniques for avoiding this kind of worry in the future.
If you are experiencing high anxiety as a result of your extreme worry, you may want to also seek the help of a psychiatrist in conjunction with the therapist. A psychiatrist can prescribe medicines to keep your anxiety under control while you work on developing tools to stop worrying.
Sometimes this is important to help you keep your mind clear (1) and stop racing thoughts in order to actually have the ability to focus on how to stop worrying. Once you have reached your goals in therapy your anxiety will be naturally lessened and you won’t need the medicine anymore.
You shouldn’t feel bad about going to a therapist or seeking psychiatric help. Many people consider therapy a waste of time, or they feel that you must be crazy to go to a therapist.
In reality, approximately 93% off Americans should search for therapy at some point in their lives for one reason or another. Interestingly, about 15% of the population are therapists. That tells you that even therapists have problems. No one is exempt, and you don’t have to have serious mental problems to benefit from therapy. It has a really undeserved stigma that shouldn’t stop you from seeking help.
TALK TO A FRIEND
If there’s a situation happening that’s causing you worry, talking to a friend can help. Just talking about what is worrying you can make you feel a lot better. Another benefit of talking to a friend is that they can offer you advice on how to deal with the situation.
Sometimes the easiest solutions escape us because we are so worried we can’t focus on the solutions. It takes someone from outside the situation to look at it objectively and come up with answers that will alleviate the situation, and your worry about it.
TALK TO THE PERSON CAUSING YOU TO WORRY
If you are worrying about someone specifically, particularly if it involves their actions, you should talk to them about it. Let them know that you’re worried and why. Explain to them how they might do things differently and offer them objective advice. Even if they fail to listen or follow through, you’ll know that they’re aware of the choices they’re making.
You will know that you have done everything you can do, and hope that they will take your concerns to heart. Many times people cannot see where their actions are taking them. Having a heart to heart with them about what you see going on can really help turn things around. Even if it doesn’t help instantly, you’ll be giving that person something to consider.
If the concern is about how someone will react to a piece of news, something you have said or will say, or something you have done, you must analyze your feelings about the matter, then talk to them directly. You cannot worry about what someone is going to do. If you have something important to say, you should say it without fear of their reaction. If they react poorly you can talk it out and things should be fine.
If you have done something or made a mistake that you’re afraid will anger or upset someone, it’s best to address it head on and as soon as possible. Worrying about their reaction won’t benefit you at all. The deed is finished, and now all you can do is apologize.
Talk to the person you are worried about and let them know what’s going on. Apologize if you feel the need, and wait for their reaction. Generally if you’re upfront about what’s going on and are willing to apologize and discuss it people will be reasonable and all will be well.
PREPARE FOR THE WORST
If something is actually worrying you that you can’t really control, one thing you can do to let go of the concern is to prepare for the worst to occur. More than likely the situation won’t be as bad as you fear. However, by preparing for the worst possible outcome, you can know that your reaction or solution to the problem is already covered. Having that safety net can greatly reduce anxiety and the concern that can often become obsessive.
LOOKING AT THINGS OBJECTIVELY
When you are obsessively worrying about something it can be difficult to look at the situation objectively. You must calm your emotions and your mind and try to think rationally. Deep breathing techniques or even meditation can greatly assist in this process.
Once you’re able to consider the problem objectively you may have the ability to see that you’re worrying about nothing, and have the ability to let it go. Additionally, when we see things objectively it’s much easier to come up with solutions and concepts for our reactions and attitude to the situation, which can prepare you for the outcome and permit your worry to melt away. Without having the ability to look at something objectively you won’t be able to consider it rationally, which is important for eliminated unnecessary worry.
Training Your Mind
Talking about letting go and thinking about things objectively is simple. Putting it into practice, however, is something else totally. It takes time to develop these skills, but once you learn them it will help you tremendously, not just to keep from worrying but for life in general.
You must train your mind to think in a particular way. Focusing on your thoughts rather than your emotions can go a long way towards solving problems and letting go of things that are holding you down. This requires quite a lot of practice, but ultimately your mind will work this way anytime something comes up. Your worry will be a thing of the past, and never trouble you again.
Whenever something worries you and you need to think objectively and bring your emotions under control, follow these steps. Eventually your mind will follow this process without conscious thought.
CALMING YOURSELF
You cannot think objectively and face a worry head-on if you can’t calm down. Sometimes we get so worried that we are emotionally distraught. You may be unable to focus at all, you may be crying or feel like crying, otherwise you may simply have thoughts racing through your mind at an incredible rate. Whatever the case, you must calm down before you can do the rest.
Calming yourself can really be rather easy. The simplest way is through deep breathing techniques. Sit quietly, preferably in a quiet room, and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths in through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus all your attention on your breathing. You should begin to feel calmer after a couple of minutes. How long you’ll need to do this to become truly calm will rely on how upset you are.
If you are at work or have busy home and need to find a quiet space to take a moment for yourself there’s a straightforward solution. No matter where you are there will all the time be a bathroom. In an office, a restaurant, a grocery store or your home you’ll find a bathroom to hide in. Since it typically only takes a couple of minutes to calm down there should be no worry of tying up the restroom so that the comfort of others is not compromised.
WHAT EXACTLY AM I WORRYING ABOUT?
Sometimes a worry can be very general, and in these cases it should be easy to let it go. If you begin to analyze your worry and discover that there isn’t any real basis for it, it becomes easy to leave that worry behind.
Other times there are various aspects to a situation, and you have to determine what part of the situation has you the most worried. Pick apart the problem and determine what precisely is worrying you. You cannot tackle the emotions tied to the problem if you can’t focus on precisely what that problem is.
IS IT SOMETHING I CAN CONTROL?
Think about the concern and situation objectively. Is it something you can control? Is there anything that you can do to change the outcome? Is the concern based on a situation caused by others? Ask yourself all of these questions and answer them honestly. Think about your answers carefully, and ensure
that it’s something worth worrying about. If you can’t change it, let it go.
WHAT CAN I DO TO REDUCE POTENTIAL IMPACT?
If the concern is over something that could lead to a particular outcome, and that outcome is the source of the concern, you should consider what you can do to reduce the impact of that outcome on your life. What can you do to alleviate the situation? Is there anything that you can do to remove the problem causing the concern? If you can’t change the situation, how can you react positively? Asking yourself these questions will help you see the problem more clearly and prepare you for the next step.
MAKE A PLAN
Decide what you’re able to do about the situation causing the concern. Whether you can only control your reactions to the fallout or there’s something you can do to avoid the situation altogether, there’s a lot to be said for making a solid plan of action. When you first start out with this process, or if it’s a complex situation, you may need a scratch pad and pen to brainstorm and write down the steps to the solution. However, as your mind becomes used to thinking in this way it will come naturally and no pen and paper will be necessary.
TAKE ON THE RIGHT ATTITUDE
Talk yourself through taking on the right attitude. Thinking positively is important for any solution to work. You even have to become determined that your solution will work or that you’ll make it work. Get it set in your mind that you’ll be proactive and follow through on the plan you have made. Taking on these attitudes will naturally push the concern out of your mind as you focus on what you will accomplish.
Developing Problem Solving Skills
Problem solving skills play a large role in resolving worry. You can’t hope to eliminate worry until you can analyze problems objectively and come up with solid solutions and a plan of action. Many people struggle with making decisions and solving problems. Developing these skills over time will let you solve problems more easily without much thought.
There are several steps you should take to solve a problem. At first you may need to take these steps one by one. You may even need to write down your results from each step in order to be effective. However, as you develop these skills over time you’ll find that you can solve problems quickly without the extra steps.
ANALYZE THE PROBLEM
Brainstorm precisely what the problem is, and break it down fully. Consider every aspect of the problem and everything that can impact the outcome. You cannot solve the problem if it’s not clear in your mind.
Once you have the problem broken down, you need to analyze how it affects yourself and others. Consider the various points of view involved, and the interests of everybody that can be affected by the problem or solution.
BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS
Brainstorming solutions can be difficult at first, but over time it will get easier. Consider every possible outcome, and try to come up with solutions that could head off every one. It is best to come up with ideas that could solve the problem in additional than one way to cover all possible outcomes. As a general rule there’s all the time more than one way to solve a problem.
ANALYZE THE SOLUTIONS
You must analyze the solutions objectively. Weigh every one individually to determine how it would solve the problem, and to find flaws in the idea. List the pros and cons of every solution, then compare them. This can be done on a computer or on a piece of paper using three columns: the possible solution, the pros and the cons. Use one line or block for each possible solution. This makes it easier to analyze them side by side for closer inspection.
MAKE A PLAN
Make a plan of action based on the solution you determined is the best one. The plan should be listed out in steps when you’re first starting out. Get it firmly in your mind how you will follow through and enact the solution. You will need to ensure that you know precisely what needs to be done for the solution to work.
For more complex problems you should also come up with an alternate plan of action. Having a “Plan B” will help you deal more effectively if the situation changes or unexpected events occur.
This may look like a lengthy process for solving a problem. However, even the smallest problems can be solved using these steps. For smaller worries it won’t be essential to write down everything as you go, and the process may take only a couple of minutes.
However, if you train your mind to think in this way, you’ll more easily have the ability to make positive decisions that can take away the concern that you’re feeling. Remember as well that you’ll need to follow through in order to benefit from this process.
Determination is a very important trait (2) to develop when trying to resolve worry. You must be determined that you will put the concern behind you by doing all you can to alleviate the situation. Become determined to follow through, and ensure you don’t slack off. If you don’t take action, nothing will be accomplished, nothing will change, and the concern will consume you.
Conclusion
I hope this article was able to help you to discover the steps to take to resolve your worry. Worrying about things will only make your life more complicated and miserable, which can in turn increase your worry. It leads to a vicious cycle that is difficult to break on your own. Learning these strategies is the first step to reclaiming your positive attitude and your life.
The next step is to start using these strategies right away. If you find that you’re not able to resolve these strategies on your own you may want to locate a therapist that can help you develop these skills and learn other tools that may help you. Sometimes therapy is important for learning to let go of worry.
If you have very high anxiety as a result of your extreme worry habits, you may additionally need to seek the help of a psychologist who can prescribe medicine for your anxiety. Once you have succeeded in controlling your worry with the help of the therapist you can stop taking the medicine. You can even use aromatherapy and massage techniques to alleviate anxiety.
In addition, you may want to practice problem solving skills with small things so that when you need them you’ll have the ability to use them effortlessly. Get yourself used to making definitive decisions on even the smallest things so that when it comes time to make a very important decision you can do so without worrying about the outcome.
