In today’s article you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to control your emotions.
While there’s nothing wrong with any emotion, some emotions, if left unchecked, can cause significant discomfort. Fortunately, it is feasible to manage and overcome these nasty sensations through a wide range of mental health practices and lifestyle changes.
How to Control Your Emotions:
1. Recognize when emotions are controlling you.
Recognizing when your emotions are out of control is the first step to regaining control. Ask yourself how you felt physically and mentally in that moment, and then try to find this in the present moment. Mindfulness and awareness, in addition to sound thinking, are essential to catching your emotions before they get out of control. You will begin to anchor yourself in the moment just by recognizing it.
Physical reactions such as accelerated heart rate, tense muscles, and fast or shallow breathing may occur.
Mentally, you may lose focus, feel scared, panicked, overwhelmed, or as if you cannot control your thoughts.
You should slow down and focus on only one aspect of your body’s response at a time. For example, if you are feeling nervous, pay attention to how your body feels: “My heart is beating fast.” “My hands are wet.” Instead of judging your feelings, acknowledge and accept them for what they’re.
2. Take a deep breath to relax.
When you give vent to your emotions, it is common for your breathing to get out of control too, adding to the stress and worry. When you feel panicked, take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and body. Try the concentrated deep breathing method for the best treatment.
To begin this technique, place one hand on your chest and the other under your ribs. Counting to four times, inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. As you inhale, notice how your lungs and stomach expand.
Hold your breath for 1 or 2 seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. A good goal is to do 6-10 deep breaths every minute.
Start with 2 breaths and keep practicing if 4 full breaths is too much for you. Try to take deep breaths and relax as much as possible.
3. To clear your mind, focus on bodily sensations.
When you lose control of your emotions, you frequently forget who you are and where you are; You get consumed by feelings and lose track of where you are. To combat this, try paying attention to the object directly in front of you or the bodily sensations you are experiencing.
Grounding exercises use most or all the five senses to help you stay grounded in the present moment. Talking out loud is very beneficial because it distracts you from how you are feeling. Grounding yourself and stopping the emotional spiral can be as easy as getting back into your body and focusing on the present moment.
Look around you and describe aloud what you observe. Listen for any noises you might make and say them out loud. Pay attention to the smells around you and try to feel them with your tongue. You could say, “The carpet and walls are all different shades of gray, and an abstract painting in green, red, blue, and white hangs on the wall.” I can smell the brewed tea and new file folders in the office. “
Think about how you feel sitting in a chair or holding a cup of tea. Notice how your clothes feel and whether any muscles feel sore or tight. You can focus on something as basic as the position of your hands in your lap.
Brew a cup of hot tea and concentrate on how you feel right now when you drink it. What impression did the cup make on you? what does it smell like? How does it feel? Write this down and then read it aloud to yourself.
Describe the picture out loud in as much detail as possible.
When you’re anxious, carry an essential oil blend with you to smell. Let the scent envelop you and talk openly about what you like about it.
4. To relieve physical and mental tension, try relaxing your muscles.
Scan your body to determine where tension is accumulating, and then encourage yourself to relax that area. Relax your shoulders, loosen your fists, and release your tense legs. Wiggle your fingers and relax your neck. Physically relieving stress can help put your mind at ease.
If you have trouble relaxing your body, try progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). Starting at your toes and working your way up, you will methodically contract and relax your muscles in groups. If you can’t focus on uncovering a particular area of stress, it can be helpful to use tried and tested strategies like these.
5. Imagine yourself in a peaceful and safe environment.
Choose a relaxing and calming place, whether real or imagined. Close your eyes and visualize in as much detail as possible while breathing gently and evenly. Let your body relax and your mind and emotions settle down in the quiet of your safe place.
A safe place can be a beach, resort, temple, bedroom-any place where you feel comfortable and relaxed. Consider the sounds you will hear, the sights you will see, even the smells and textures you will encounter.
Quickly imagine your safe zone if you can’t close your eyes or see it in its entirety. Take long, calm breaths to remind yourself of that feeling of peace and focus.
If you have trouble visualizing bad feelings, imagine them as real things that you can remove from your comfort zone. For example, imagine that your tension is like a pebble that you can shake off by imagining it leaving your body.
6. Make your own “happiness box” or “comfort book.”
Fill it with good memories, such as photos and keepsakes. To complete the book or box, print inspirational sentences that you like. Include a gratitude list or notebook, in addition to comforting items. For example, the box could contain a cute book, some sweets, a pretty mug and a box of tea. When you feel down, take out the book or box.
You can even design a digital version of your happy book by including photos, memes, inspirational phrases, gifs and other images that make you happy.
7. Find out what your true feelings are.
When emotions get out of control, learning to recognize and name them can help you regain control. Take a few deep breaths, then force yourself to look directly into how you are feeling, even if it hurts. Then consider what caused the feeling and whether it masks anything you are afraid of.
For example, consider what makes you so scared to approach your crush. This may have a significant impact on your future, or perhaps you feel pressured to look good in front of him. The source of the fear may be the fear that he likes you’ll rely upon how you look.
A person may not realize that naming their feelings is a talent. You can help yourself learn to recognize feelings by doing dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) exercises.
Remember that there isn’t any such thing as a “bad” feeling. Telling yourself that you do not need to feel anything is a way to make yourself feel worse. Instead, pay attention to your feelings without judging them. Accept them as normal and permit yourself to experience them.
Reflect on your feelings by embodying the characters experiencing them. Then return to the source of the feeling.
You gain control over emotional turmoil by identifying and recognizing the true feelings that trigger them. Once you identify it, realize that emotions are just sensations and haven’t got to fully overwhelm you.
8. Allow yourself to deal with your feelings.
Restraining feelings or ignoring them will not make them go away. It is important to allow yourself to reflect on your emotions because they will accumulate and resurface in the future. However, there isn’t any need to consider it. Instead, set yourself a time limit, such as 15–30 minutes, to express how you feel.
For example, you can call a friend to vent, or write down how you feel in a notebook.
If you are sad, you can take time to cry alone.
If you are having a bodily reaction to an emotion like anger, worry, or jealousy, you may need to do something physical to relieve it. You can take a brief walk or practice martial arts.
9. Consider your options for solving this problem.
Sometimes you may feel out of control emotionally because you are unable to deal with the circumstances around you. This can lead to “brooding,” a “broken record” cognitive cycle in which you unproductively think nasty thoughts or moods. Break the cycle by focusing on aspects of your situation that you can change.
Make a list of things you can work on rather than dwelling on problems at work and wondering, “Why did I do so badly?” You can discuss ways to be more productive with your supervisor, seek advice from someone with more experience, or start experimenting with alternative methods of dealing with stress.
Accept the things you can’t change on your own. Allowing yourself to let go of the urge to “fix” or “manage” every aspect of a situation is one way to relieve stress and emotional turmoil (1).
10. Make the absolute best decision about how to proceed.
When you are ready to take action, ensure it’s a conscious decision and not a reaction to some other emotion. Think about how and why you would want to act in this situation. What values does this response represent for you? Does that also make logical sense?
Take a moment to reflect on your moral beliefs. What would you like to see occur as a result of this situation? Which choice do you think you are most happy with? Then consider which action is most certainly to lead to the desired result.
For example, if someone insults you, your options are to do nothing, retaliate, or firmly tell them to stop. Consider how you want this scenario to end and how you can get there without compromising your values.
11. Recognize defensive behavior in yourself and others.
Defensive behavior not only causes emotions to run out of control but also gives the impression that you’re overly emotional. If you are worried, upset, or personally attacked, you may take a defensive stance.
However, it is extremely important to listen to other people’s ideas without taking them personally, particularly if they’re useful. Defensiveness can be overcome by minimizing the threat in a situation and being interested in other people’s ideas. Defense manifests itself in the following ways:
- Refusing to pay attention to harsh criticism
- Making excuses for failure is a common occurrence.
- Transferring responsibility to others
- To keep people off your back, you cross your arms.
- Without talking to anyone, you list reasons why you are right.
- You ignore other people’s opinions.
- You use sarcasm or criticism of others to distract attention from yourself.
12. Be aware of your emotional triggers and try to avoid them.
Activities, people, places, things, or events that trigger certain feelings in you all the time are triggers. You can mentally prepare yourself for triggers by planning ahead.
For example, suppose your brother bugs us every time we do something wrong. Before going to the upcoming family gathering, you can keep yourself calm and then plan ways to get away from your brother during the day. You can arrange to meet other members of the family or go out to collect dishes. Limit the amount of time you spend with your sibling, and leave early if necessary.
13. If someone tries to bother you, do nothing.
Take a deep breath and stay calm if you suspect someone is trying to upset you just to make you react. Keep calm and do not let anyone tie you down. If you stay calm, the person urging you to act will get irritated and ultimately give up.
When you are ready to talk, calmly express your feelings. You can say, “I get annoyed when I feel like you’re just trying to get back at me.”
Then bring up the subject and ask for their opinion, then listen and respond to what they’ve to say. For example, you could say, “Let’s get right to the chase and talk about the most important thing, which is getting the job done on time.” What suggestions do you have? “
14. Do the opposite of what you normally do.
Stop if you notice that you are reacting to strong emotions in a way you are not used to. Think about what would happen if you tried to do something completely opposite to your typical reaction. What impact will this have on the outcome? Try this new approach instead of the previous one if you find it good or helpful.
For example, you might feel annoyed when your husband doesn’t wash the dishes regularly. Instead of starting an argument, set a goal to do the dishes and then sweetly ask your partner for help.
If it seems difficult, start by changing one small aspect at a time. Instead of yelling at your partner, tell them how you feel in a calmer tone. If it’s still too difficult, take a 5-minute break and walk away. Eventually, you can come to a lasting change in how you respond.
15. Withdraw from situations that make you feel bad.
Sometimes the best solution is to walk away and avoid the triggers that make you feel bad. If the situation can be easily changed without harming others, do whatever it takes to rid yourself and your bad mood.
For example, if you work with unfocused people, you may become irritable during meetings. One way to deal with dissatisfaction is to ask to be transferred to another department.
16. Express your thoughts directly and confidently.
Learning to speak assertively allows you to express and regulate your emotions and make changes in bad situations. It’s okay to express your opinion or say no to things you’re uncomfortable with or don’t have time to do, as long as you do it in a direct and caring way.
If a friend invites you to a party, you might respond with something like: “Thanks for thinking of me!” I’m not a fan of crowds, so I’ll skip it this time. Why don’t we meet for coffee? “It’s a way to express your emotions rather than hiding them inside and letting them rule you.
17. Using “I” statements, get your point across without criticizing the other person.
This type of communication lets you convey your feelings without accusing or belittling the other person. Stop before you say something that could be taken as an accusation or judgment and turn it into an observation or opinion.
Instead of saying, “You don’t care about me,” you can say something like, “I get annoyed when you don’t call me back when you said you would.” “What has happened?” you may wonder.
18. It’s a good idea to invite others to share their perspective.
There is no scenario where there is simply one side. Inviting others to share their views can help you understand their perspective and supply a level playing field. Active listening can even help you calm your own emotions, which gives you more control over them and lets you incorporate their ideas.
Ask “What do you think about this topic?” is a good question to ask after stating your perspective.
19. Use judgmental language like “you should” or “should” as little as possible.
These words have a blaming tone and can create feelings of annoyance and resentment that things did not go your way. Stop using “shoulds,” “shoulds,” and other expected words or phrases when you catch yourself using them. Remember that nothing and nobody is ideal. Accept imperfection and accept things as they’re now as a challenge.
Instead of telling yourself, “My partner shouldn’t hurt my emotions,” remind yourself that it is nothing personal and that you both make mistakes.
Show yourself warmth and compassion if you see yourself being hard on yourself. For example, if you think, “I should have studied more for that test.” Replace “I’m not going to pass” with “I’m studying hard and preparing to the best of my ability.” I will face it no matter what.
20. Regular exercise helps you relax and relieve stress.
Physical activity, particularly quiet, repetitive exercise like swimming, walking, or jogging, can help relax your mind and senses. You can even try relaxing classes, such as yoga or Pilates (2), which focuses on relaxation, stretching movements, and breathing methods.
21. Use your senses in new ways to relax your body.
To incorporate this method into your daily self-care, focus on beauty and enjoy the world around you. When you are feeling anxious or out of control, focusing on gratitude and bodily sensations can help you calm down. Experiment with different approaches, such as:
- Relax by listening to peaceful music
- Keeping a dog or cat is a common activity. Studies have shown that regular interaction with affectionate animals reduces depression in addition to focusing the senses.
- Take a peaceful walk and admire the beauty of your environment.
- bathing in a hot tub or bathing in a hot tub. Most people feel relaxed and calm by physical warmth.
- Make your favourite dish and enjoy it
22. Use self-touch to relax.
People need loving contact to survive. Positive contact triggers the production of oxytocin, a robust hormone that elevates mood, reduces stress and makes people feel more connected to others. Techniques to help you relax in stressful situations include
A great way to start is to place your hand over your heart. Feel your heart beating as your chest rises and falls and your skin warms. “I deserve love” or “I am good” are positive affirmations you can repeat to yourself.
You hug yourself. Squeeze yourself tightly by crossing your arms over your chest and placing your hands on your upper arms. For example, “I love myself.” is a good statement to repeat.
Place your hands around your face and rub them with your fingertips, as you would with a child or loved one. Repeat a few positive phrases to yourself, such as: “I am beautiful.” “I’m a good person.”
23. Find time to meditate.
Meditation is an excellent way to reduce anxiety in addition to increase your ability to deal with stress. Regular mindfulness meditation can even help you regulate your emotions. You can sign up for classes, use online guided meditations, or find out how to do mindfulness meditation on your own.
Sit up straight in a calm and pleasant environment. Take a few deep, clear breaths and focus on one aspect of your breathing, such as the sound or expansion of your lungs as you inhale.
Include all other parts of your body in your concentration. Pay attention to what your other senses are telling you. Try not to judge or place too much emphasis on one experience.
Accept every thought and feeling as it arises, acknowledging it without judgment. If your concentration starts to wane, turn your attention to your breath.
24. Repeat aloud a mantra that affirms your own worth.
The basic premise of mindfulness is accepting your experiences in the moment without rejection or judgment. This is less complicated said than done, but as you practice mindfulness methods you’ll find that they develop new “habits” in your brain. When you are in a difficult situation, say something encouraging to yourself, such as:
- This mood won’t last eternally and will pass.
- My feelings and opinions aren’t facts.
- I’m under no obligation to act on my feelings.
- Even although it is not fun, I feel happy right now.
- Emotions come and go, but I’ve experienced them before.
26. Address the source of your mental stress so you can move forward.
If you have trouble controlling your emotions, dig into your personal past to find out why. Understanding the source of your emotional pain will help you understand how to accept it and heal from it.
Consider how your family handled disagreements when you were a child. Did your parents express their feelings or hide them? Are there emotions that shouldn’t be displayed? What emotions make you most uncomfortable, and how does your family deal with them?
You may additionally want to include important events in your life, such as a divorce, death, or major changes, such as moving or losing a job. What feelings did you experience and how did you respond to them?
26. Examine and challenge beliefs and habits based on fear or irrationality.
Identifying the source of emotional sorrow lets you address and overcome the beliefs that cause it. Take a step back and identify any negative thoughts objectively, such as fear or inadequacy. What is the source of this dangerous feeling? What are your options for facing and overcoming it?
For example, feelings of not being good enough can manifest in “positive disqualifying” thinking: if someone says something nice about you, that’s okay; however, if they say something unflattering about you, you “knew it a long time ago.” Challenge yourself by focusing on all the positive aspects of your life.
Emotional turmoil caused by fear can manifest as an inclination to jump to conclusions, which occurs when you make a negative judgment based on an absence of evidence. At every step, stop and examine the evidence that supports your conclusions to challenge this thinking pattern.
Whatever complex additional nasty feelings one finds, just about all of them can be dispelled by asking one’s own neutral truth and showing oneself compassion.
27. Keep a notebook where you can practice self-reflection.
Journaling about your emotions can help you learn to recognize emotions. It will also help you understand what triggers certain emotions and how to deal with them, both beneficial and detrimental.
Use your notebook to validate your feelings, express compassion for yourself, reflect on the sources of certain emotional reactions, and take responsibility and control of your emotions.
In your journal entries, ask yourself questions like: “How am I feeling right now?” Could something be triggering this reaction? What do I need when I’m in this state? Have I ever felt this way before?
28. Turn negative thoughts into positive ones by reframing them.
Developing a more optimistic outlook takes effort and time, but it can help you deal with uncertain or uncomfortable feelings or events. At the end of the day, write down 1 or 2 positive events that happened each day, even if it is just an excellent song you heard on the radio or a joke.
A good practice is to replace firm statements with flexible ones. For example, if you are worried before a test, you might think that studying is pointless because you are not going to pass it anyway.
Instead of believing you will not have the ability to improve, think to yourself, “I will prepare more cards and sign up for study groups.” I may not get an A on the exam, but I will know I did my best. You are more likely to succeed if you approach the situation as something that can be changed with a little effort.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article on how to control your emotions. I actually hope that its content has been of good help to you.