If you have ever wondered how to be more independent in a relationship, this article is for you.
A relationship is formed by two people who share the same interests, passions and feelings for each other and who form a bond that’s stronger than the sum of its parts. Dedication to one another is one sign of a good partnership.
Whether you have just started dating or have been married for 30 years, it is extremely important for people in relationships to maintain their independence. Maintaining independence can be easy and can strengthen your relationship if you make time for one another, communicate your limitations, and have a good relationship with your partner.
How To Be More Independent In A Relationship:
1. Pursue interests and hobbies that don’t have anything to do with your relationship.
Allowing yourself to be in a relationship should not get in the way of you doing the things you want to do. Maintain your independence and self-respect by having hobbies and interests that you do not share with your partner.
Use this time to find something you like that your partner might not like. In this way, you can assert your independence while enjoying a passion that does not require sacrifice from your partner.
As well as being a source of freedom, hobbies can have a significant impact on your well-being. For example, painting, writing and walking have been shown to lower blood pressure, increase creative thinking and increase feelings of accomplishment in research. Keep this in mind when explaining to your partner why having individual interests is useful!
2. Create your own private space.
If you live with your partner, having separate areas of your home is important for maintaining your independence. Designate a place in your home where you can be alone and other people will not disturb you.
By expressing your desire for privacy and explaining the situation to your partner, you can get reassurance that she or he will not bother you. Don’t just lock yourself in your room without telling anyone else!
If you treat part of a shared apartment as your own, make sure to fill it only with your own things, be it the room or a small part of it.
Your autonomous space can even be a public place where you can spend time alone (like a coffee shop or public park). Only in the context of your relationship, not necessarily in relation to the outside world, your space should be private.
Encourage your partner to have their own personal space.
3. Spend as much time as possible with your immediate family and shut friends.
When you are in a relationship, it’s simple to stop seeing other friends and become dependent on your partner for socializing. Maintain your independence by regularly finding time to hang around with family and friends.
How often you get together with family and friends finally depends on your own social needs. It could be once a week or once a month to have a healthy social life outside of your relationship.
When your relationship is going through a rough patch, family and friends will be there to offer you encouragement and keep your spirits up. Remember that people love you just the way you are.
Spend time with your own friends and your partner’s friends to maintain your dignity.
4. If you must, take a break from the relationship.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, you need to ensure your personal needs are met. When you are feeling overwhelmed, do not be afraid to step away from the relationship to focus on yourself and your needs.
It’s more of a mental vacation, so it can last so long as you need it. One day (or even less!) to yourself can sometimes be all you need to get back to normal.
Spending time alone can increase your self-esteem and help you develop a robust sense of independence. Longer absences have the unintended consequence of making your partner’s company more attractive!
Be sure to talk to your partner before going on a mini solo vacation. Oddly enough, maintaining your independence should be something others will encourage you to do.
5. Be open and honest with your partner in your free time.
Separating yourself from others to maintain independence does not imply you must leave the house and meet other people. When taking time off, do not break your partner’s trust (1) and keep your commitment to the relationship.
If you need space because you are feeling overwhelmed and want to show off your independence, romance may look like a tempting way to go about it. However, romance can be heartbreaking for partners living in a relationship to know, and if you violate your partner’s trust in this way, your relationship may never recover.
Taking a break from the relationship also requires convincing your partner of your honesty. Remember that open communication is key.
6. Create your own goal list.
Being independent means having a sense of self that’s not shaped by a relationship or the effect it has on us. Don’t let yourself forget what sort of person you want to be; You should never put relationship ambitions above your own.
Talking to family and friends is an awesome way to check in with yourself periodically to see if you’re still the person you want to be.
If you ever find that you are unhappy with who you are, it may be a sign that something (maybe even a relationship) needs to change.
7. Set healthy relationship boundaries.
Boundary recognizes everybody’s freedom and provides satisfaction in all good partnerships. Talk to your partner about setting boundaries that will let you maintain your independence while still meeting the demands of the relationship.
For example, if there are things you do not want to do for your partner (like lying to them), let them know.
When setting constraints (2), be honest but also explain why you are doing it; ensure your partner understands that the boundaries you set don’t have anything to do with your emotions towards them as a person.
When setting your boundaries, avoid using absolute language or threats. This is irrational and can cause irritation to other people.
8. Be honest about your quest for independence.
You need to let others know what you are doing to protect your independence. When explaining why you want to be independent, remind your partner that you’re still committed to the relationship.
Try to phrase your comments in a way that effectively communicates your concerns while remaining sensitive to your partner’s emotions. Consider how you would react if you were in someone else’s shoes and heard those words from them. Your partner may feel offended if you express a desire to spend less time with him and blame him.
Remember that each good relationship requires open and honest communication about all the difficulties.
9. Stand up for what you believe in.
In a relationship, you must be willing to compromise and make concessions, but you should at all times have your own priorities. On issues that are important to you, be assertive and do not let your partner convince you otherwise.
This does not imply that you should not compromise. Determine which principles or beliefs are non-negotiable for you, and be willing to make reasonable concessions on other matters.
Don’t change your personality to please other people. Find time for them in addition to for other friends.
For example, if it is very important to you to share responsibilities fairly, explain that in a firm but polite manner. As much as possible, let your partner accommodate your needs, but do not let him talk you down about issues that are important to you.
10. Support your partner’s freedom and growth.
A good relationship requires a balance where everyone seems to be invested in the relationship in addition to in themselves. Encourage others to explore their own independence and maintain self-awareness as you develop yourself.
Say, for example, there’s nothing wrong with spending time with family and friends, going to the films or concerts without you, or pursuing hobbies that he does not share with you.
It’s important to establish independence expectations in your relationship as soon as possible. If you are struggling with a dependency that’s deeply rooted in your relationship, it is going to be much harder to work towards independence for both of you.
11. Don’t depend on your partner to share all of your desires.
People sometimes complain that their partners do not share their interests. On the other hand, a good relationship should bring together two separate people. Limit your expectations and remember that you do not need your partner’s approval to pursue your desires.
While common interests and hobbies are common in relationships, it is unrealistic to expect the other person to share all your interests and passions. Remembering this will help you understand that it is okay to pursue your own interests.
12. Take care of your mental health.
Don’t let a relationship make you start questioning yourself, your worth, or the validity of your ambitions and dreams. Remember to regularly check how you feel about yourself and your life, and do not put relationships before your mental and emotional health.
A typical problem that many people face in relationships is losing their own aspirations and self-esteem. It’s important to remember that being in a relationship does not imply giving up your independence.
13. Get help if you need it.
When you are in a relationship, it’s natural to become emotionally dependent on someone else. On the other hand, being independent requires the ability to look elsewhere for help. Don’t be afraid to seek help and support when you need it.
During difficult times, family and friends you have been in a relationship with or who you trust are sensitive to your problems are a useful source of emotional support.
Remember that being independent in a relationship does not imply you are alone!
14. Determine if you’re in a codependent relationship.
Codependent relationships are bad for many reasons and hinder your pursuit of independence and progress. Watch for warning signs that your relationship is deteriorating.
Any kind of violence—physical, verbal, or emotional—can occur in an abusive relationship. Violence occurs when others bully or emotionally blackmail you.
In a healthy partnership, proper boundaries are very important. You may be in a codependent relationship if you feel that you have lost all boundaries and don’t have an independent personal life.
If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help. Consider moving temporarily with family or friends.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article on how to be more independent in a relationship. I actually hope that its content has been of good help to you.