If you want to understand how to end a manipulative relationship, you’ll love this article.
Getting out of a manipulative relationship can be much harder than staying in one.
You will not be capable to start enjoying life on your own terms until you separate from someone else, even if you do not feel like you have the courage to leave the relationship or your partner cannot survive without you.
If you actually want to end the relationship, you need to plan ahead, work out your strategy, and stick with it. The most vital aspect is getting the courage to do it.
How to End a Manipulative Relationship
1. Admit that you’re being manipulated.
Because the controlled or manipulated person denies that anything is wrong, many controlling or manipulative relationships last longer than they should.
You may believe that your partner is a little explosive or needy, when in fact they’re gradually taking control of each area of your life.
2. Make a list of all the reasons why you should leave.
When you find that you’re in a controlling or manipulative relationship, consider how far better your life will be when you get out of it. This will encourage you to leave and begin strategizing your escape.
Write this argument right down to remember and convince yourself that you must leave as soon as possible if you want to enjoy life again.
3. Make a list of what you’re going to say.
Keep it short and easy so the other person does not try to argue with you, beg you to change your mind or promise to change or do whatever it’s you want them to do to stay in the relationship.
You haven’t got to give a million reasons to leave or list all the ways the person has let you down; doing so would only make things harder.
There’s no point in being spiteful or accusatory. Your partner will be even more emotionally disturbed by this.
When conveying this message, try to stay as calm as possible. Don’t scream, do not cry, do not spin around. Even if you’re in plenty of pain internally, stay calm. Your partner will notice that you’re easily influenced if you seem irritated.
Once you have decided what you want to say, practice it. This will make you feel more comfy.
4. Think about how you communicate it.
When dealing with someone who is unstable or controlling, how you convey your message is essential.
The most vital thing to remember is that if this person is aggressive in any way, or if you’re genuinely afraid of their reaction, you should deliver the message in a public place where you feel safe, and if necessary bring a friend along.
If you do not want to confront the person, simply write or e-mail them. If you are afraid to talk to someone face to face, communicate in other ways.
However, once you decide to end the relationship, you must act quickly and in a timely manner. Don’t end the relationship if you or your partner has been drinking or is in a difficult situation.
Choose a time when your partner tends to calm down, even if it does not imply much.
5. Develop a technique for getting out of the situation.
If you live with this person or have recently left plenty of things with them, you should consider how you’re going to get them back. You can try letting it out before you break up with this person so you haven’t got to come back later.
Ask some friends to come over and help you get your things back. This will make you feel more secure and make it more likely that you’ll break up.
If you live with the person, you should arrange sleepovers before the breakup so you do not get caught up in it and be tempted to come back.
6. In your mind, end the relationship.
Tell yourself it is really over before you say what you need to say, and begin dealing with the natural loss that comes after the end of a very important relationship.
If you start thinking about yourself as a single person before you tell your partner, you will feel more confident about saying what you need to say because you have made your decision.
7. Maintain self-control.
This is the most vital factor to consider when telling someone you broke up with them. Once you say it, there’s nothing anyone can do or say to convince you to change your mind.
Get ready to go by saying the words you have rehearsed. Remember all the reasons why you had to leave, even if the person is crying or seems to regret their mistake.
8 Keep conversation to a minimum.
Don’t procrastinate giving in to your partner’s emotions or making a list of forty things they’ve done to ruin your life.
The less time you spend explaining yourself, the less likely your partner is to argue or point out mistakes. Remember, this isn’t a negotiation.
Say your part and then walk away.
9. Keep a safe distance.
Don’t let them try to touch you, hug you, or simply trick you into staying in a relationship (1). Stand or sit away from them.
If the person tries to take your hand, you may be tempted to be with them again rather than doing what you have in mind, which is walking away.
10. Don’t let yourself be influenced.
It is very likely that your partner will try to manipulate you after the breakup if you were manipulated during the relationship.
Don’t let other people use their emotions to influence you, to convince you that you’ll never find someone else. Or bribe you with all the things he can do for you if you stay, whether that’s getting married, buying a house, or enrolling you in an anger management course.
Remind yourself that you’re leaving the relationship because you are sick of this behavior. It will not work for you anymore.
11. Do not clarify your goals.
It may seem apparent that you live with your parents or at a friend’s house, but do not say anything.
Letting that person follow you to get you back, or even stalk you, is never a good idea.
12. Take a step back.
Just leave after you have said what you want to say. If you have a friend waiting for you in the car or accompanying you, go with them.
Don’t turn to get another sympathetic look at your ex-boyfriend; he has made you feel miserable and useless, and you are so much more than that.
Keep your head high as you walk out the door, never looking back.
13. Avoid eye contact with the person.
Don’t allow the person to call you, text you, your Facebook, or even show up in places you might go.
Talking to this person will make you feel more confused and hurt, and the situation could escalate. Don’t be fooled if someone claims they simply want to talk or miss you; your ex will do everything in their power to get you back.
Bring a friend and do it in a public place if you need to talk to the person for any reason, like to pick up more of your stuff or to find out something practical related to shared property.
If you have plenty of mutual friends, you may need to temporarily cut off contact with that person. Even if it involves stalking for a while, do not go anywhere you know your ex will be.
14. Resist the urge to change your mind.
It’s normal to feel sad and lonely when you are away from your partner.
If he has total control of your life and now you are alone and must make your own choices, then it is normal to feel unable to deal with even the simplest of choices and feel entirely alone and overwhelmed.
But that’s how your ex should feel: like he cannot imagine life without you.
Keep convincing yourself that things will get easier – they will.
Remind yourself that you were fine before you got into the relationship, and that you can be that person again.
15. Spend time with family and friends.
While it is vital to take time to reflect on yourself after a breakup (2), this isn’t the time to do it entirely like that.
Instead, depend on your family and friends for support and spend as much time with them as possible. Even if going to a party is the last thing on your mind, push yourself out there and try to have fun.
Spending plenty of time alone after leaving a manipulative or controlling relationship can make you more likely to want to get back with your ex.
Your support system consists of your family and friends. Talk to them about how bad the relationship is; having them validate your feelings can make you feel stronger.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You may lose touch with close friends because of a dominant partner.
Just admit that you made a mistake by excluding your friends from your life and they should welcome you back.
16. Take care of yourself.
You can never get over a relationship if you spend all of your time sulking in your room or watching TV alone in the dark.
Take care of yourself by socializing with friends, following your interests, and immersing yourself in your work or studies. You may even find new interests to pursue for yourself, which will offer you more purpose in life.
Just get out of the house if you have something to do. Even if you just read alone in a coffee shop, it will help you feel less lonely.
Develop a weekly schedule. Allow time for reflection, but ensure you have something to do each day.
Think of it as a chance to do something you never did with your ex. Maybe he hates something as basic as sushi or going to the films; do whatever you want with those things.
17. Think how happy you are right now.
It may take some time, but with time you’ll notice how far better you feel when you’re alone and away from a bad relationship.
Think of one thing you can do now that you are not in a relationship, every night before going to bed. You could even list all the ways that would improve your life and how fantastic it would be to have some control over your own behavior and thoughts.
Review this list or list all the reasons why your life is better than before. Give yourself time and you’ll find that being brave and making the right decision has paid off.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article on how to end a manipulative relationship. I actually hope that its content has been of good help to you.