How To Figure Out What You Want In a Relationship: (12 Ways)
This article has everything you need to know about how to determine what you want in a relationship.
It’s hard to pinpoint precisely what you are trying to find in a relationship, particularly if you are young or inexperienced. Despite having previous dating experience, every relationship is different, and your priorities may have evolved over time. While identifying your relationship requirements can be a time consuming task, the effort is worth it.
How To Figure Out What You Want In A Relationship:
1. Making a list of non-negotiables can help determine what you want in a relationship.
Sometimes, it is easier to identify what you do not want than what you do. To begin with, you can make a list of criteria that will instantly disqualify a potential partner.
According to research, common deal breakers for those seeking a long-term relationship include exhibiting violent or angry behavior, dating multiple people at the same time, not being trusted, already in a committed relationship or married, having health issues such as PMS, struggling with drug or alcohol addiction , negligent, and has poor hygiene.
2. Identifying non-negotiable personal values in a relationship can be beneficial.
Personal values can serve as a guide for the kind of life a person wants. While it is unlikely that a romantic partner will share all the same values, it is vital to know which principles and beliefs one does not want to compromise.
For example, if honesty is a core value, it is going to be difficult to have a partner who lies repeatedly. It also tends to cause friction in the relationship if the partner expects someone to lie. To identify core values, one can answer several questions and look for recurring themes.
This includes asking themselves what changes they would like to see in their community and why, the two people they respect or admire most and the qualities they admire in them, the three items they would save if their house caught fire and why, and moments in their lives. their life that made them feel contented and what happened to make them feel that way.
3. Reflecting on past relationship patterns can even be helpful.
It’s important to examine past relationships, including romantic, platonic, or familial ones, and identify the factors that led to their dissolution. This includes considering what aspects of the relationship make someone feel unhappy or dissatisfied.
A person can write down any negative patterns found from past relationships that did not meet their needs. These problem areas can serve as a basis for determining what is undesirable in the future.
4. It is also important to consider any problems observed in relationships around yourself.
Other people’s relationships can even have an impact. Perhaps a person has spent time with a friend or family member who is in a romantic relationship, and even on the outside, they’re aware of the individual’s problems.
For example, someone’s sister may be devastated after her boyfriend cheated on her, and supporting her during it makes people realize the importance of loyalty in a relationship. It’s important to note any red flags observed in other people’s relationships that they do not want to occur to their own. Learning from the mistakes of others can help in enjoying more fulfilling relationships in the future.
5. Prioritizing self-love is important.
Many people are trying to find a romantic partner to complete them, which is a mistake. Your partner should complete you, and you should already feel complete about yourself. Being complete implies having self-love (1) who don’t depend upon the love of others.
It’s important to show love for yourself by listing your favourite qualities, talking to yourself in a gentle and caring way, being aware of your inner needs and desires, taking care of your own body, managing stress, and avoiding dwelling in the past, living in the present. As a replacement.
6. Consider the type of relationship you want and be neutral towards yourself.
This will help you identify the types of individuals you need to avoid and the behavior patterns you need to change. Knowing what you do not want in a relationship can help you determine what sort of relationship you do want.
For example, you may think that you’re ready for a committed relationship, but deep down, you aren’t. Alternatively, you may believe that you’re only interested in casual relationships, but based on past experience, you realize that you get too emotionally involved.
7. Review your list of deal breakers and turn them into the positive qualities you want in a partner.
Instead of focusing on what you do not want, use that information to identify the traits you want in a relationship. For example, if you listed drug or alcohol abuse as a deal breaker, you could change it to “a partner who puts both physical and mental well-being first.”
You should also add other qualities you want in a partner, including things like intelligence, empathy and patience. Consider adding traits like religious beliefs and political beliefs if that’s important to you. Be honest with yourself and do not overlook anything, even if it seems insignificant or embarrassing.
8. Expressing who you really are is a crucial part of finding your ideal partner.
By embodying the qualities that you want in a partner, you can determine if your expectations are realistic and evaluate what you want to contribute to a relationship. It’s unfair to expect certain traits without demonstrating them yourself. However, personifying the qualities you seek can make you a desirable partner and attract someone who is just like you.
For example, if you value your partner’s physical fitness and well-being, focus on your own health for a month by eating healthy, exercising, managing stress, and getting enough sleep. You can continue this good habit after the month is over.
If you listed “getting rich” as a desirable trait, but you know it is unrealistic for you to get rich overnight, consider changing this quality to “financially stable.”
9. One of the best ways to determine what you want in a relationship is to start dating casually.
This lets you test the waters and meet people who meet your standards by going out for coffee, ice cream or drinks. However, it is necessary to know your limits before jumping into this world. You possibly do not want to be physically intimate with quite a lot of people at the same time, and you should communicate that you are dating casually to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.
It’s also a good idea to set a timeline for when you should stop seeing someone if you do not feel a connection. If you start to feel more drawn to one person or if someone seems serious, then it is best to cut ties with other people and follow your instincts.
10. Evaluate the compatibility of various potential partners.
When casually dating a few people, consider how each person aligns with your personal values, goals, and aspirations. Make sure none of them have any of the qualities from your list of deal breakers.
It is extremely important to prioritize your own desires (2) and needs as you get to know each person better. When you spend time with these potential partners, you may naturally feel a stronger connection with one person. It’s important to cut ties with other suitors so you can focus on building a stronger relationship with this person and maintaining loyalty.
Remember, even if someone seems compatible on paper, there may not be real chemistry right away. If so, it is better to move on to another applicant than try to force something that does not exist.
11. When we start a new relationship, it is easy to see our partner through the perfect lens.
However, this idealization will ultimately fade, and it is vital to consider what that relationship will look like in the long term. Take a step back and examine whether the things that bother you now will become dealbreakers later. Take a look at your list of desirable qualities and ensure you have not ignored any important values.
For example, if cleanliness is important to you, can you handle your partner’s messy habits in the long term? Remember that everybody has quirks, and it is vital to distinguish between minor annoyances and non-negotiable traits. Don’t end the relationship for petty reasons, but do not ignore the deal breakers either.
12. It is important to communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and your position in the relationship, particularly if you feel compatible with one another in terms of values, goals, interests and outlook on life.
Have an honest conversation about your intentions and ensure your partner feels the same way. Don’t make the error of assuming that you can change your mind if he is not interested in a long-term relationship. To have this conversation, ask your partner for some quiet time and express how you feel about the relationship.
For example, you could say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you over the past few months. I want to see how you feel about our relationship and where do we stand? It’s important to know if your partner sees a long-term future with you and if they’re ready to commit to a mutually exclusive relationship.
In order to find out what you want in a relationship, there are several steps you can take.
First, list your personal values, goals, and needs. This will help you clarify what you are trying to find in a partner.
Next, embody the qualities you want in your partner. This won’t only make you a more attractive partner, but will also help you assess your own expectations and what you are willing to give in a relationship.
Casually date a few potential suitors to evaluate compatibility and see how well every one matches your values, goals, and dreams. When you feel a natural connection with someone, cut ties with other suitors and focus on strengthening the relationship.
Visualize the relationship beyond the honeymoon phase and examine whether the annoyances or deal breakers will increase over time.
Communicate with your partner about your feelings and your place in the relationship. Be upfront about your desires and ensure your partner feels the same way before moving forward.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article on how to know what you want in a relationship. I actually hope that its content has been of good help to you. +