How To Get People To Listen To You: 8 Best Things You Can Do
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How to get people to listen to you – that is what I’m going to speak about here. I’ll provide you with 8 tips to improve your charisma and body language to create a memorable look.
If you can get people to listen to you, you have influence and influence comes from respect and awe. But how do you get someone who does not even really know you to respect or admire you? You must let them leave your presence feeling good about themselves.
Mya Angelou, American poet, singer, memoirist, and civil rights activist said it best and that I will quote her: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
It all boils right down to maintaining relationships, even superficial ones. And this concept can apply to your marriage or relationships with friends, kids, whoever. Some people are naturally charismatic, but anyone can learn to be charismatic. You do not have to be a comedian or super extrovert.
People with charisma make people feel good about themselves. So here are some tips for developing more charisma.
How to Get People to Listen to You:
1. Smile while talking.
Emotions are contagious and let people catch something positive from you. And people treat you differently and the message is conveyed differently when you smile than when you do not.
2. Curious and interested in other people.
And I’m going to borrow a quote from the late self-improvement author Dale Carnegie and he said, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”
The way to find out things about other people is to ask questions. People like to speak about themselves and they’ll respond positively to someone who gives them an opportunity to talk.
But let’s say you meet a private person. They want to keep the conversation neutral and you will know because someone like this will do it sometime
You asking them questions will provide you with short answers that are unclear and lack detail. they may even seem evasive. And it would be tempting to want to push them for more details but no.
These kinds of individuals need to feel comfy with you before they can open up. Too many questions can be annoying and unsightly. So in that case, if you want to make small talk with them, you need to speak about something neutral like an event you attended or work or whatever you have in common with them.
Then whatever you speak about make sure to smile and be warm and interesting as this can make the person feel as although you are enjoying their company. Giving them the feeling that you enjoy their company can go miles and miles with them because people who are careful like this generally know they aren’t good with other people and they possibly feel this way because they’re used to people reacting to them by being annoying . or judgmental about the indisputable fact that they do not carry their weight in the conversation.
So if you jump in and carry on the conversation in a warm and accepting way, you stand out and are an example of charisma. People are drawn to you by the way you make them feel.
3. Encourage and support others.
People do not want criticism, they want support and admiration, and it is important to remember that people are interested in people who are open and nonjudgmental. No one wants to be judged and this doesn’t imply you should not. You cannot have an opinion. But you can express your opinion in addition to validate the opinion of the other person so they do not feel judged because you feel different from them.
So let me provide you with a real example of being supportive. Let’s say someone tells you about an idea they’ve and pretend you think it is a bad idea and you cannot find anything positive to say about it. In fact, you might even think of a few ways to improve their idea.
So what do you say?
So consider it first, is this person asking you for criticism? Do they preface what they say with “please give me feedback and let me know what you think?” Or “how can I improve this idea?” If they do not and you don’t have anything to do with their project or idea, likelihood is that nothing you say will change what they do.
On the other hand, maybe he is telling you about something he is really happy with and he is trying to find confirmation. And if you do not like anything he does, you can still find something positive to say. So you could say a boy who looks like that’s quite a lot of work and he could say “he is. I spent two months putting it together. And instead of saying good that two months wasted, you can say “good for you for being so dedicated to this.”
You see what you do?
You compliment the person on his efforts and dedication and say nothing about whether or not you like what he is doing. Now suppose he immediately asks “do you like this, do you think that’s a good idea?” You could say, “It’s hard for me to say because I’m not very good at something” or “I don’t really know much about…”
What you are doing here is you are making up for your lack or your lack of exposure to this on the grounds that you cannot really appreciate what he is done and that is not his true judgment you are saying “Oh my gosh I’m so stupid about this , I can not even provide you with a relevant opinion, mine is useless in this scenario.
And that’s a template here that you can use, if you do not like someone’s idea or their craft or their product. Don’t give them negative feedback, just disqualifying yourself from the ability to offer an opinion that matters because you are so disconnected from their business.
And this doesn’t must be honest. What you are doing is changing the focus of the feedback. Now obviously if someone comes to you for an objective review you must tell them how they can improve. I mean, you must be honest about it.
But that’s generally not the case when people engage in small talk. They do not want you to fix it and that is the difference here we’re talking small talk.
Let’s have a look at body language.
Body language has a big impact on how others perceive you. The purpose of your body language is to convey that you’re important, open, attractive and interested.
So here are some ways to make it occur.
4. Fill the space around you.
Avoid going small. Open your shoulders, sit up straight. If you are sitting at a table, spread it out a bit. Don’t look as if you are trying not to get in people’s way. Important people take up the space they need and then other people fill in around them.
You also want to keep your shoulders relaxed. It’s easy to have tight shoulders and not notice it yourself. But let your shoulders relax and fall. People in authority appear more relaxed in public situations so even if you are not relaxed, try and at least look relaxed.
Also when you sit, you want to sit up straight and sit up straight. When you sit hunched over, you minimize your presence.
5. Lean back
Lean towards the person you are talking to. This gives the impression that you’re paying attention and folks appreciate this and will generally be more involved. You want to maintain consistent eye contact with the person avoiding looking around or being distracted by other things going on in the room. The wandering eyes make it look like you are not listening.
Have you ever been to a social gathering where you talk to the person and they talk to someone else in a messed up way? it does not make you feel good and does not leave an enduring impression.
You want to make the person feel like they’re the only person in the room.
6. Not restless.
Keep unnecessary movement to a minimum so do not gouge your face or wiggle your legs or click the pen. This does not instill confidence in the other person you are with and it just makes you come off as insecure, nervous, or even bored.
7. Slow down.
Confident and commanding personalities tend to have slower movements. Nervous people tend to appear rushed and in a rush all the time. So when you walk, walk more slowly with your back straight like you are sliding and see if anyone notices or says anything to you. I’m sure you’ll leave a totally different impression.
8. Practice mirroring
And this is something that can occur naturally when two people are talking and they are really in tune with one another. But you can even deliberately copy someone’s movements to make them feel more comfy around you. So what you do is match the posture and demeanor of the other person. So if he puts his hands in his lap, you put your hands in yours. If he moves his head to the side when he is talking, you should also move your head to the side.
But you must allow delays. You do not want to look like one of those mime clowns. Just give it a few seconds and then do the same posture. And then also do not do it all the time. You do not want to overdo it or it could look strange and distracting. But assume some poses or positions with your arms or if they cross their legs while sitting, you can cross your legs. Things like that.
Just a few postures or poses and provide it a try and see if it makes a difference in the flow of the conversation.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about . I actually hope you get people to listen to you.