Today you’ll find out how to resolve conflict in a relationship. Are you missing passion in your relationship? Are you afraid that you or your partner might find someone else more attractive? Chances are you are reading this because you know the answer deep down.
The purpose of this article is to share with you some tips to help you deal with conflict in your relationship. After all, you love one another, right?
The reality of a relationship
According to relationship experts, the main reason why most relationships fail is blind romance that masks the truth of the relationship. People are conditioned to believe that being in a committed relationship is the end of all their problems; that the perfect relationship simply involves beach walks, romantic candlelight dinners, and sexy getaways seeing their lover as the most charming and excellent person in the world.
But when couples get into a relationship it is just a matter of time before reality kicks in and other important factors like bills, pets and or kids come into the picture and unexpectedly romance and sweet happiness is right out the door. In fact, some of the little quirks that you found really attractive in your partner at first may have turned into an annoyance.
Even more stressful, your partner may expect you to keep the house in order, cook astonishing meals, take care of the children, stay fit, be great in bed, and even make lots of money. It’s not what you imagined, right?
You in turn expect your partner to do the dishes, offer to take care of the children, fix your car, take care of the yard and instinctively, you think, your partner should automatically remember your birthday, your anniversary, not leave dirty clothes behind, and above all, taking you out on the weekends – but it does not work like this, does it?
The real question is: Are we expecting too much from one another?
Exercise 1: Relationships are work. It’s compromising and adjusting and working to be fun and loving. Make a list of the unique qualities in your partner that you initially found very attractive.
The importance of friendship
Relationships require constant effort. Good relationships are built on an unshakable foundation of compromise, compassion, trust, and loyalty.
Good friends support one another and help one another grow emotionally, spiritually, and creatively. Growth requires gentleness and firmness, sometimes even violence, but the main motive should be to help each other grow.
Exercise 2: Sexual passion may fade after a while, but true friendship does not. Are you and your partner good friends? What are ways you support one another’s emotional, creative, and spiritual growth? How do you support one another’s dreams and goals?
How to spice up your relationship
Ask yourself if you really know one another. Or, have you ever confused sexual compatibility with “I love you unconditionally”?
Try these 6 positive actions to get to know one another better and keep your relationship fresh:
1. If the passion has disappeared from your sex life, turn it back on.
Do something new together in bed. Why not incorporate some erotic toys or massage using essential oils. Do the kitchen, prepare sensual food together and include aphrodisiac ingredients to spice things up.
2. Always try to look good.
No more shabby pajamas and messy hair. Instead, the ladies wore one of his shirts around the house and obviously went commando. Guys go wild for little treats like these. It does not matter how close you are to one another, you can still be the sex symbol you were before and keep him interested.
3. A romantic vacation alone.
An exotic island getaway or a comfortable country getaway. Camp on the beach and watch the stars or stroll hand in hand through a quaint farmers market. The goal is to relive the magic you once had.
4. Have a soulful conversation and dream a little.
Do you remember those late night conversations you used to have about love, your deepest desires, and the chance of a future together? On a winter night camp by your fireplace, break out a bottle of champagne; do not forget the chocolate dipped strawberries.
5. Be open and talk to one another about your challenges without losing your temper.
When problems arise, you should deal with them at all costs, but try to do it in a peaceful, charming setting when both of you are relaxed.
6. Do the things you used to enjoy together when you first met.
Remember the qualities that attracted you to your partner in the first place. Maybe these traits are still attractive, but it is you who’s changed.
Exercise 3: There are ways to reignite the passion in your relationship. You could do something new sexually, go on a romantic vacation, or talk to one another about your challenges. You can recreate the romance by doing things you used to enjoy together.
Have you paid attention to your appearance? Have you ever done things you used to enjoy together? List the things you have done to keep your relationship fresh. What other ideas would you like to try?
8 things to avoid in a relationship
1. Expect your partner to complete you.
This is plenty of pressure to put on other people. No one can truly complete you but yourself and in order for your relationship to thrive you must learn to take responsibility for your emotional state and how you react to situations. Things like acting needy and continually pressuring your partner to get what you want can lead them to withdraw when you need it most.
2. Look outside the relationship to improve your relationship.
This is the fastest way to end your relationship. Looking for somebody outside of your relationship to meet your emotional and physical needs is not a good idea and can absolutely cause plenty of heartache. I can not stress enough the importance of having ongoing and open communication with your partner.
3. Reveal past events to justify current problems.
Using past problems as collateral to win an argument is never good. Instead, choose to live in the present and accept that the past has its place and can’t solve your current problems.
4. Believe you can fix or change your partner.
The only person you must change is yourself. It’s good to support and encourage them in any way you can. Make an effort to understand your partner’s perspective and then try to offer some advice.
5. Discuss your relationship with others.
This is certain to put your partner on the defensive and it makes you look desperate. At such a critical moment, acting desperate would only make matters worse.
6. Play the victim.
This may work for a while, but in the long run it will only increase their desire to keep away from you.
7. Blaming your partner for their lack of morals.
If your partner is not aware of his personal weaknesses and challenges by now, he is unlikely to comfort you by pointing them out.
8. Be pessimistic.
There is nothing more boring than negative beliefs and thoughts. Things like: “That won’t work or, my partner always acts this way.” Remember, thoughts become actions and actions become habits. Instead, create a happy environment for your love to grow with an optimistic mind. Believe that your lover can change, but first, do not forget to change yourself.
Exercise 4: We all fall into patterns of behavior that can damage our relationships. Maybe you are used to acting needy or blaming your partner for their mistakes, even exaggerating them. Maybe you keep lecturing them about their lack of morals. Or you can try to pressure them to change by enlisting the support of your friends or family.
Remember that none of these strategies will help resolve the conflict.
Have you tried to break away from negative ways of behaving with your partner? If yes, in what way? If not, why not? Record your thoughts.
How to Resolve Conflict in Relationships: 8 Ways
Now that you know what does not work, here are strategies that do. Work these strategies into your daily mindset and behavior to resolve conflict with your partner:
1. Don’t panic when your partner is upset.
They may appear to have conflicting views and emotions. We all have moments like this. A certain level of acceptance is important for a relationship to achieve success.
2. Acknowledge that anger is a normal emotion.
Suppressed anger can lead to many things including infidelity, reduced sex drive, and plenty of other confusing and unwelcome outcomes. Tools like our EFT tapping, meditation, and exercises are ways to relieve your anger.
3. Assume the best in your partner.
Unless you can prove them wrong for real, give your partner the benefit of the doubt and do not let suspicions of spiteful motives ruin your relationship.
4. Ask if your partner gets hurt over something if he snaps at you.
It may don’t have anything to do with you. Sometimes your partner may react negatively because they themselves are afraid of getting hurt. It’s very easy to confuse hurt feelings with anger.
5. Remember that you’re not all the time the reason for their unhappiness.
If your partner seems unhappy, do not jump to conclusions about your relationship. Figure out what went wrong first, then work out a solution together.
6. You must compromise.
Avoid defending your territory irrespective of the situation. As Oren Arnold says, “There are other words that are almost as powerful as “I love you.” They are “Maybe you’re right.”
7. Don’t get pregnant with the hope of fixing your problem.
Many people mistakenly believe that having a baby solves everything, but research shows that it may offer the opposite result. The added stress can magnify the problem and make it worse.
8. Don’t mention goodbye unless you are sure this is what you want.
Too often couples use the term breakup as a threat, when really all they’re trying to convey is how strongly they feel about the situation. So do not be a Diva, just share why it is vital to you to resolve the conflict. If not, you may find that your partner takes heart and stops trying. You absolutely do not want that.
Exercise 5: Tolerance and patience are needed in all relationships. Make allowances for your partner’s occasional outburst. Let them have conflicting views and encourage them not to suppress their feelings. Repression leads to nasty results.
If they react in an aggressive way, try to inquire into their true feelings without being aggressive to yourself. Maybe they were hurt in some way and trying to cover it up.
Have you looked at the 8 ways to resolve this conflict and tried one of them? Which and with what result?
Thank you for reading this article on how to resolve conflict in a relationship, and I actually hope you take my advice into action. I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.