This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to be less irritated with people.
There are two main sources of distraction in people. Either the person is doing something that actually bothers most people (in most cases) or the person is doing something very normal, like breathing, and it is bothering other people for some reason.
Finding techniques for dealing with either scenario will benefit your attitude and, likely, your health.
How To Not Be Disturbed With Other People:
1. Take a deep breath.
Breathing deeply through your diaphragm can really reduce the stress in your body. Count to 10 carefully and quietly. Imagine that you’re on the beach. Let the sound of the waves and birds calm you from within.
Let the salty air caress your face and relax you. Use your most relaxed memory of an event to focus on: the emotions of a loved one, the memory of an accomplishment, or the joy of being free from responsibility.
2. Let go of preconceived notions about how people should act and what they should do.
This phase is all about controlling expectations. We have preconceived notions about how other people should behave and what they should do, and we get irritated when they do not live up to our expectations.
While expecting people to be good is inherently a noble goal, it can lead to frustration and even dissatisfaction. There is another way to do it:
Set easy expectations for yourself. Don’t lose hope in other people, but do not expect them to wow you with good behavior, attention, or flattering compliments.
You’ll be happier when people impress you when you do not expect too much of them. Setting realistic expectations is a big part of reducing resentment.
3. Ask yourself: “What’s in it for me?” or “What do I get out of being upset?”
Maybe not that much, if you consider it. Maybe you think you are better than other people.
But do you actually want your identity to be defined by what other people do or by what you do? If you define your identity by what you do rather than what other people do, it is going to be much stronger.
4. Don’t be afraid to remain silent.
When someone upsets us, we regularly experience feelings that are so strong that it is hard not to react. This is when we say or do something bad that we should not.
For example, shouting “Stop!” or “Shut up!” Most of the time, our outbursts exacerbate rather than alleviate problems. After taking a few deep breaths, calm yourself and consider whether your time to respond was worth it. Chances aren’t.
Of course, if a colleague just finished a sexist tirade, saying something like, “Steve, I think comparing women to cows in that way is inappropriate” is unquestionably a good idea.
On the other hand, if a colleague just finished making the same joke at you for the hundredth time, taking the satisfaction out of their response is likely to work in your favor in the long run.
5. Watch what you say with your body language.
Anger and contempt are shown through frowns, stares, and other unflattering body language. They’re also contagious, so if you show up in front of somebody who’s bothering you, that person will likely be angry too.
Things can get out of hand quickly. Maintain a calm and controlled demeanor as much as possible, do not say anything that suggests you are upset.
6. Accept the best case scenario.
Instead of assuming that submissive people are attempting to irritate you, accept the indisputable fact that they do not know what they’re doing. Most people aren’t trying to irritate you; they may not realize that what they’re doing is disturbing.
In other words, they may be lost in their own world and may not even see you. Remember that you think more of yourself than anyone else—this is applicable to everybody.
7. Don’t worry too much about small details.
On the plane, you are disturbed by a small child; a man talking loudly into his cellular phone; and at home, your partner keeps asking the same questions. All these are small details. In the long run, they do not matter.
Learn to let go (1), stop worrying about the little things, and focus your limited energy and resources on the things that actually matter to most people: friends, family, health and safety, novelty, adventure, and lasting memories, can greatly improve your quality of life.
Accept the things you cannot change. You can change the appearance, wall color, and decor of your own home, but you cannot change anyone else’s. Focus your efforts on the things you can influence, and those around you are sure to appreciate it.
8. Stop trying to convince everybody.
There will all the time be someone who either does not understand you or thinks negatively of you, no matter who you are or what you do. It’s stupid to try to win over people who are indifferent or hostile to you.
It bugs you that you cannot get everybody to like you as much as you think you should. This desire is dangerous because it comes from greedy motives.
Someone hates you, no matter who you are. It’s hard for him to see you as a whole person, whether it is because of your skin color, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status. Overcoming prejudice is feasible, but it happens hardly ever and never quickly.
Prove such people wrong by doing what you want. To combat ignorance or prejudice, the smartest thing you can do is forget about it, move on with your life, and lead by example.
Show them how great you are. Just live your life rather than shoving it in their face. People who do not realize this are most probably the ones who cannot be saved.
9. Find out what makes you angry.
What are you so upset about? Is it something really annoying, like a sibling making the same sound you have noticed twice, or something innocent, like someone breathing hard?
If you are bothered by something small, there’s generally a problem that you have not worked on, either with that person or yourself.
When you are irritated, change your way of thinking.
Instead of expressing your displeasure, be friendly and polite. Avoid being mean or hostile, and try to strike up a conversation with the person who is bothering you (if they’re doing something innocent).
11. Think of any advice you’d like to give yourself.
Try this approach if you are angry at someone and do not know why, or if you are frustrated because you are feeling irritated. Make a list of suggestions you’d like to give that person.
Let’s say someone made a joke about your friend, and you want to warn the comedian to “be careful.” Instead of giving this advice to other people, turn the situation around and see if it applies to you.
Is it possible for you to consider other people? Is it possible for you to disregard reckless attempts? Can you imagine how your friend will take the joke? Sometimes the guidance we most want to give others is the same advice we should give ourselves.
12. Recognize if your resentment might be a problem for you, not them.
The likely reason something or someone annoys us is because it reminds us of ourselves; we do not want to think that’s who we are, so we fuel anger and rage to get away from that person or thing.
Is the reason you are upset because other people think something too personal for you?
13. Think about making some changes in your life.
Anger can indicate that you’re stuck in your comfort zone. Try changing something.
Change up your bedroom furniture, read works by authors that challenge your core beliefs, go on vacation overseas. Changing anything in your life that takes you out of your comfort zone into uncharted territory can help you feel less irritable and more compassionate.
Anything that helps you grow and develop will tend to reduce your agitation with other people. The more you find out about the world and understand more about people’s motives, the less you’ll have high expectations of other people. Low expectations are the key to happiness2).
Thanks for reading this article on how to be less irritated with other people and I actually hope you take action on my advice.
I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.