How To Become More Social And Less Shy: I Used These 5 Strategies
This article has everything you need to know about how to be more social. How are we introverts supposed to inspire ourselves to make new friends? If you are anything like me, the idea of sitting at home with a book sounds far more relaxing than going to a cocktail party to meet strangers. But even the most die-hard introvert has to admit that connecting with other human beings is a very important part of a happy life.
Fortunately, you do not have to be an extrovert to make new friends. Even if socializing does not come naturally, you can take steps to force yourself to put more effort into meeting new people and forging personal connections. You just need to learn the secret to motivating yourself to be more social.
In this article, I’ll share with you the keys I use to force myself to go out and meet new people. Some of these may sound uncommon, but try them and you’ll be surprised. They will offer you the extra push you need to make new friends.
How to Be More Social
1: Find Social Activities That Interest You
One way to inspire yourself to attend social events is to find events that are inherently interesting to you. For example, if you love books, the idea of attending a book club will appeal to you irrespective of whether the club is a good place to socialize. However, once you get there, socialization will come naturally.
Stop reading now and list ten types of clubs or organizations that naturally appeal to you. Examples can include every kind of sports leagues (e.g., soccer, basketball, soccer, or whatever), discussion groups of every kind (e.g., book clubs, writing groups, or public speaking organizations), and organizations religious or political.
Do some research online to find out which organizations are available in your area. Make plans to attend a meeting of one of the organizations. If you have chosen well, you will not experience social anxiety about attending meetings – they should be interesting enough to inspire you to attend for non-social reasons.
2: View Smalltalk as a Skill to Master
Socializing does not must be about making new friends. Social skills are skills that can be mastered like any other skill. If you focus on developing this skill, making new friends will be a nice side effect.
Try approaching small talk as a skill. Read books on how to become good at smalltalk. Pay attention to other people speaking socially, and make note of any techniques you like or dislike. Watch when people have fun conversations with you, and note what techniques they use. You can even approach someone who is nice at small talk, and ask them for some tips.
As with any skill-building program, you should keep track of what you learn while learning smalltalk. Set goals, track your progress, and reward yourself for fulfillment.
3: Create a Positive Mental Association for Socializing
The first two techniques (above) try to make socializing more enjoyable by taking conscious steps to make it more interesting. In this third technique, you’ll also take steps to engage your unconscious mind. This is important because your unconscious attitude towards making friends will affect your level of success at this activity.
Start by thinking about an activity that you really enjoy. Close your eyes and visualize this activity. Pay special attention to how your mind represents this activity. When you visualize a pleasurable activity, where does it appear? Is it near your face, or far away? Is it left or right? Up or down? Determine the location where your mind stores this memory.
Now consider making new friends. Repeat the visualization activity described above, paying attention to where your mind stores your image of making a new friend.
Next, visualize the making new friends move from its current location in your mind to the location where your mind holds the fun activity you visualized. Save the “making new friends” in this fun memory room.
After completing this exercise, consider making new friends. Do you feel differently about it now? Does the process of making new friends feel more enjoyable now? If you do the exercise correctly, it will work.
4: Overcome Your Shortcomings
This next technique attempts to make the activity of making new friends more interesting by removing any barriers that make you feel insecure or uncomfortable when socializing.
Carefully and honestly examine the following common areas of insecurity:
1. Personal hygiene (do you take care of your body appearance?)
2. Attire (are you dressed modestly?)
3. Knowledge of current events (do you stay informed on issues that matter to most people?)
If you have problems in any of these areas, take steps now to fix them. For example, if you feel insecure about having bad breath, you might decide to buy a mouthwash or some kind of medicine.
Once you have removed the private flaws that made you feel insecure in social settings, you may find that you’re much more motivated to make new friends. You’ll most likely also find that you experience better results when you meet other people.
5: Social Life
You already spend twenty-four hours a day someplace. The typical adult lives in at least two settings – home and work. Depending on your lifestyle, you may inhabit other neighborhoods as well (e.g., school, a restaurant you frequent, a store where you shop, etc.).
In this fifth technique, you’ll change your settings to increase your chances of making new friends.
Think about where you work. Is it conducive to socializing? Do you like the people you work with? If work does not make a positive contribution to your social life, consider changing jobs, or moving to a different department with someone you like better.
How about where you live? Obviously, a cabin in the woods is not ideal for somebody trying to make friends, but certain environment might also hinder your social life. For example, if you’re young, you may want to move from a neighborhood dominated by elderly neighbors to an apartment complex full of young people.
You might even consider shopping at a store where there’s a greater possibility of making social connections.
Increasing the social potential of the place you live will force you to make new friends with minimal effort.
Conclusion
By reading this article, you have shown that you truly want to force yourself to make new friends. Put your will to work using the guidance you have read. The five techniques described here will set you up for socializing with ease.
The best friendships are formed in a relaxed, easy way – not through awkward contact at introductions. As a result, your efforts to make new friends should be directed at placing yourself in the very best social environment with the best attitude possible, rather than using somber willpower to encourage a series of unsavory social rituals.
Now you have the tools you need to force yourself to make new friends. Connect with others and enjoy the life you deserve.
Thanks for reading this article on how to be more social and I actually hope you take action on my advice. I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.
