Want to understand how to behave on a first date? Then you are in the right place.
There are many things and most significantly – your actions and gestures, which affect your definition of a first date with your partner and determine the conclusion that fact whether the meeting was successful or not.
Therefore, before embarking on your first date, read some tips that will serve as a guide to a model of behavior that will contribute to your first date well and open the door to many dates to come.
We all get stage fright before a first date with a girlfriend. Some admit it, some do not, but nobody is ignorant.
Everyone is thinking about what to wear, how to behave, what to discuss, how will everything go, will he kiss me etc.
The first date is like an interview. The point is that you present yourself in the absolute best light, but do not take it too seriously.
The main goal of the first date is to get you to the second date, then the third, and we all know what happens after the third. That’s why you need to show your true colours, but not too true, things are hard going for a second date.
The first date is an extremely important thing and, one might say, the first step is extremely important and critical in the direction in which the relationship will continue to develop.
First dates are a really slippery slope and we all must watch out and careful not to make common mistakes.
There are rules of conduct on a first date about men and girls. After all, the goal is to leave the best impression. You will not have a second chance to make a first impression.
You’re in love and you have finally mustered up all the courage to call the person on the first date, and all you need are some great tips so your first date does not turn into a total disaster.
We’re here to help you, so you do not make any basic mistakes and you can make an awesome first impression.
How to behave on your first date: do’s and don’ts
Here I’m going to offer you some brief but very important practical advice that each man and woman on the first date should know and apply. Tips on how to act on a first date to make a good impression and feel snug.
The behavior that should be appropriate for a first date should include maximum relaxation and your naturalness in communication and access to a partner.
So ensure to be as natural and relaxed as possible. Even if you feel a little nervous and uncomfortable, admit it and say with a smile that you are a little nervous.
This will sound sympathetic to your partner and will contribute to him smiling and you both relaxing.
Don’t try to pretend to be someone else, not on the first date, or on any other date. Sooner or later, unnatural and artificial behavior will become apparent and can lead you to a situation where your partner becomes disappointed in you.
So just be yourself and relax.
1. Smile and be positive.
It’s important to show that you are in a good mood but not euphoric.
Your good mood will make you and him feel good and comfy in your company.
2. Talk about your interests, good experiences, things you like.
In this way, you’ll show who you are and the other party will have the opportunity to see what you have in common, what you look like.
Speak only about positive things without exaggerating and lying. It is extremely important that the person likes you for who you are.
3. Listen and ask questions and sub-questions.
Show that you have an interest and able to listen. That’s very important. It is important to show that you’re not only thinking about yourself and are wise.
4. Be natural and spontaneous when you talk to your best friend or neighbor.
If you do, you’ll be less anxious and you’ll become the best version of yourself. Here’s what you need. You are most lovely when you’re genuine and it shows in the way you look.
The opposite is also true when you act and force yourself to be something you aren’t, that’s, transparent and you’ll appear strange, affected or inhibited by stage fright.
5. Don’t try too much to impress.
What’s more, the more pushy it’s to impress someone, the less likely it will occur. Your task is to create a good mood and conversation in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere.
6. Don’t ask too much on the first date, just ask for an additional meeting.
If you insist on going to your house, that looks like you are pushy, “lustful” and you do not know how to control yourself.
Like I said, relax. This is your first date. Magic does not generally occur on the first date. The first meeting is in fact a conversation to realize that you have found the person of your dreams.
In most cases this isn’t only instantly apparent, but without a doubt gets a far better picture of the person.
Things to follow for the perfect first date
It’s generally hard effort and time because before a first date, things do not get too snug for us, but we must try our best and wait a while.
However, just as the way to the first date is important, so is the first date itself. It matters what we say, what to ask and what to disregard and, in general, it matters how you act as a whole.
Choose a place for your first date- Be original and avoid the usual places, popular coffee shops, restaurants and cinemas. Be sure to choose some uncommon locations to surprise the person and show that you’re special and worthy of their attention.
When choosing a place for a first date, do not forget about the main goal. So you want to get to know the person you are dating better. Therefore, noisy places, such as nightclubs and places to dance or drink aren’t a consideration.
It would be good to put your meeting in a cafe with reasonably loud music where there will be a moderate number of individuals.
In particular, do not choose a place where the music is too loud because you will not have the ability to talk, otherwise, do not choose a place where no living people are.
The smartest thing is that this is a decent coffee shop, which is snug and where the atmosphere is good.
Of course, if he wants to and insists that the site is his choice, you can do nothing but be a gentleman and agree with him.
What to wear?
When it comes to picking the perfect wardrobe to choose for the first date, the most significant thing is that it fits how you want to present yourself.
So the wardrobe you wear for the first date (1) gives a sense of who you are and suggests how you want your partner to perceive and experience you.
Therefore, if your goal is an enduring and lasting relationship, do not dress vulgarly and do not flaunt all of your feminine attributes.
However, do not hide it utterly and ensure that between these two extremes find a balance and a middle.
Be feminine, but polite. Choose clothes that you feel snug in and that you understand how to take care of, do not let your clothes wear you out.
It’s a little harder for the girls. And they need more time. Take an hour/two early to get ready. Bathe. Wash your hair, dry it. Make your hair natural; do not do anything special with it.
Just let it be clean and radiant. Then, the clothes. Let it be a relaxed combination, something you’ll feel good about.
The best are jeans (if it is winter) / 3/4 (if it is spring) / or shorts (if it is summer), sneakers / boots (depending on the weather) and a loose T-shirt that’s the same color as your shoes. Jacket (if needed) or sweater.
As for the makeup, it should be more neutral and natural. Do not force. You can add a little powder, but do not overdo it.
As far as the eyes, you can apply mascara and a little little bit of shadow, as brown as your skin. Don’t line your lips because he can kiss you and guys do not like sticky lips when they kiss you.
Spray perfume gently, without overdoing it, just to feel a lovely scent. Then you are ready to go out.
For boys, you should look like you have not spent too much time picking out your wardrobe and you essentially should. Don’t wear a trainer, but do not wear a suit either!
Try to choose combinations in which you feel snug and look good, because it is necessary that you don’t feel uncomfortable in the clothes you wear, as it can distract you.
At the same time, speaking of style, you must take into consideration that the whole wardrobe is clean, including shoes. Of course, a first date means freshly washed hair, neat nails, etc.
Don’t be late- This gives the impression of an irresponsible and unreliable person. If you are late because of being careless, you’ll most certainly get a minus or even run out of second chances.
People’s tolerance is getting smaller and smaller. Pause and imagine how you would feel if you were waiting, excited and happy, and the person was running late.
The very first thing that catches the eye on a first date gives an impression of accuracy and precision and seems to usually reflect the entire relationship.
Nobody likes to wait, particularly on a first date, right? Guys, ensure to arrive early at the designated place and wait for Miss. Fifteen minutes earlier, that’s fine.
It’s a little different with the girls. Don’t be accurate. Came 5-10 minutes later. Thinks a lot about topics for conversation and customarily about dates. Leave this for now; let it be spontaneous, so it is for the best.
What to discuss?
On the first date, try to be as honest as possible. Give honest answers to questions your partner asks and also expect sincerity on his part.
While doing so, be sure you do not cross the line between you and your partner and do not go into details in terms of previous experiences in relationships and love.
For such questions, return to the statement that you have the right to keep your past to yourself and do not insist that your partner offer you many details about his or her past, or past relationships.
Simply learn from your partner and ask you about what you like and like and what sort of relationship you want with your partner.
Details like that, like the number of partners and ex-partners, descriptions of former relationships and the like, could lead you to a nasty situation, and begin future conflicts between you.
You must let the past stay in the past and you must be grounded in the present and the future.
So rather than answering questions about your emotional past and instead interrogating him about it, try to focus on stories about topics that are directly related to both of you.
Ask him if he has any hobbies and how he spends his time. The more details you find, the more likely you’ll like one another.
Either way, maybe you both expect you to stick with the story and be interesting.
It’s not about you having to discuss anything and everything just to talk, but you absolutely should not let the girl utterly take over the story and you can just flap your head and listen.
Both are pretty disastrous… If you know you are not specifically interesting or funny, better before your date put the story in the paper and come up with one you find witty and endearing.
Think of a memorable and enjoyable movie, book, or life situation. Just do not ramble or shut up; try to find the “golden middle”.
It is normal and natural to expect a few things to be known about him at the first meeting. He’s also looking forward to finding out about you… But do not rush it!!!
This is just the first date, where you’ll see if you respond to one another as people who can easily communicate with and between whom there’s sympathy.
There will be plenty of time to get to know one another, so do not worry! Do not ask direct and intimate questions! Impossible! You know what they’re – family problems, property, ex-boyfriends and so on.
And anytime you consider asking something that you are not sure you should ask, consider whether you would feel snug if the girl asked you the same questions.
So first coffee dates are for the casual stories (and questions!). Just relax and be yourself! Sometimes the little mistakes and awkwardness is known to be very interesting and fun. Just do not become a douchebag.
Things not to discuss on a first date
There is no specific recipe for appeal. But some things we can agree on, in general.
For example the indisputable fact that those who never read tend to come off as annoying and ignorant or that we all prefer to date women who do not compare to their ex-boyfriends.
We bring you 7 phases that are heard pretty often during meetings that became more or less reliable signs that we should watch out.
Therefore, read very carefully and avoid women who discuss…
#1- “I am obsessed with animals.”
Perhaps a common stereotype that’s a bit unfair, but it is partially true and value noting: Mature women who are obsessed with animals, whether dogs, cats or whatever, are missing in basic areas of maturity.
Nobody’s saying that we should not love their pets as if they were part of the family – we get that, really.
But women who still aspire to become veterinarians, despite having worked in PR for many years – do not realize that to become a veterinarian requires serious study for several years and then will be faced with a really demanding and fully unsanitary job that has very little to do with sweet, gentle and lovely animals.
#2- “You will really like my friend.”
Maybe it is just a case of clear and effective communication, because when a lady says how you’d get together with her friend on the other side of the bar you are at, what can you imagine except that she’s trying to “throw” those same friends at you.
We take this as a reasonable and well-articulated statement that he is not interested and would rather hook you up with his friend.
If this means the world of men thinks so, then all is well – we are all on the same side.
#3- Something religious
If men want to know more religiously minded people, they will be addressed by online dating sites that emphasize religious affiliation.
As is generally the case, most men sitting on a first date in whatever secular societal organization and whatever religion they belong to do not even think that they would be drawn to the other side of the table.
For such things, there’s a time and a place, and the bar is not one of those things.
#4- Too much, too soon
It’s great to have a partner who is sex positive, but that doesn’t suggest that on the first date you must discuss what you like and do not like about sex.
Each of you’ll quickly discover the other’s sexual preferences, no need to hear certain “sex facts” explicitly during dessert.
#5- “I don’t like to read.”
“Really, you don’t?” And even if it is not, she should have the nice sense to keep this information to herself on at least the first few dates with a new guy.
To not like to read, in this age of civilization, it is as if you do not like to go out and see the light.
With so much information available to us – and TV is just the tip of the iceberg – missing all of this is solely unforgivable. Nobody wants to hear the opinion of somebody who does not even read the daily paper.
#6- “I have kids/kids.”
This is a complaint that stands or not because it depends on the age at which you are.
As long as you are in your late twenties, this is practically highly unlikely you will hear, but not impossible, in which case the objection remains!
But when you are in your thirties and forties, you face a different destiny and there is no complaining as such.
So if you are in your late twenties or younger than that, kids are a really delicate matter that you should consider pouring wine and first casual encounters with flirting.
#7- Something racist
Next! The fastest way to reject you is using hate speech, racist, or homophobic comments.
Consider that anyone in the middle and behaving in this way is clearly out of step with the ideas of the world and other people.
Being stupid these days is a matter of choice, not “original” circumstances, so when he chooses this path, you must take off. You need to have an extremely important phone conversation in one minute. And that would take up the rest of the night.
Things not to do on a first date
When it comes to a first date with a girl you really like, the usual thing obviously is – big stilts!
This is very normal and happens to all normal people because we all want to leave a better impression and none of us have a magic wand and we are quite aware that everything is in our hands.
#1- Forget the monologues
Let him tell the story too, forget the monologue. Also remember that on a first date nobody should feel like they’re at the trial. Too many questions and undesirable aggression.
Okay, you are just starting to know one another and questions are inevitable, but it is vital to have boundaries, the person’s body language can help a lot and as soon as you notice that she or he is uncomfortable you know what to do.
You are a person who has plenty of friends or business associates, so your phone keeps ringing? We are at the border again.
Of course you’d answer if you were expecting a crucial call, but, for heaven’s sake, do not let that occur to you over dinner, and hold your phone more than a fork.
Someone you spend time with will feel neglected and humiliated, and such behavior is beyond decency.
If the messages come one after another, subtly mute the sound and from time to time check to see if you may have received a crucial message.
It’s true that you do not act like a fool and smirk at every hint, but on the other hand you should not sound too serious. Girls do not like guys who are too serious because it is never fun with them.
Don’t talk much about work, problems, crises in the country and the world and the like. Serious threads go for serious people (they like it) and with girls you try to be cheerful, fun, fun, funny and most significantly – natural!
#4- Forcing things
Don’t let what you have planned become a forced situation. Even although this is the first meeting and should be allowed to pass as comfortably as possible.
You do not know the girl and if she says she’s not going where you planned to go, you better hang around with her and take her advice.
You do not know why he will not go there, you haven’t got to ask and after all some things are better left unknown.
If you start pushing him it will make him uncomfortable and so will you, this is a bad start and you should never allow anything like that.
#5- Paying the bills
The man at all times has to pay the bills (2) before the end of the first date. The woman could offer to pay, but the man would absolutely refuse. Here you show that you’re a real man, even though many ladies are independent and they want to emphasise and show.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article on how to behave on a first date.
After a fun meeting and evening, our advice is to take a brief walk and then drop a woman off at an apartment, hotel, or taxi.
A kiss on the cheek on the first meeting is ok if you’re respected and follow directions en route to the second date and beyond.
We hope that our tips and little tricks will help make a good impression and overcome stage fright and difficulties at the first meeting.
And remember – the worst thing that can occur to you is never seeing that person again, or the best – the meeting can work out and begin again the next day.