This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to end a toxic relationship.
So, you have made your decision. You decide to end the toxic relationship in which you are trapped. The question is, how to do it – step by step? In this article you’ll discover 11 ways to wisely, calmly, and effectively end your toxic relationship.
How will the tips described in this text help you?
Breaking up will be easier and fewer emotional (which obviously is not all the time possible) for you and your partner; Separation will be more effective and thus avoid re-engagement in the relationship. After leaving your partner, you’ll be capable to quickly rebuild your life, without dragging on your memories and emotions. Of course, not all steps will suit you and your relationship. Each of us has a different approach to life and relationships. Each relationship works on a different principle.
However, there are too many ideas that you’ll certainly choose what you need for yourself – so you can end a toxic relationship in a wise way, once and for all.
How to End a Toxic Relationship:
1. Check your decision
If you actually want to end this relationship, be sure you have made the right decision before taking any action. That you have decided to do it deep down and you want to do it with all of your heart. This is important because being confident in what you are doing will help you undergo the process much more efficiently.
Keeping your doubts alive can only make you change your mind with some of your partner’s behavior and you must start all over again. This can be emotionally damaging, so it is better to do it once and for all.
If you are still not sure, release or close your eyes here and now, direct all of your attention inward and tell yourself, “No matter what, I did it. It is my decision.
2. Find peace within yourself
Once you make the decision to break up, the relationship is no longer on your mind. It is important for you to realize this at this stage – you are already free. Yes, you have a difficult task ahead of you – communicating this to your ex-partner – but that does not change the undeniable fact that the relationship is over. Take a deep breath and find space and inner peace within yourself. This will let you think about the process, approach it carefully and wisely.
If you need more ideas for calming your emotions, take a day trip alone – no mobile phone or computer. Take some time to refresh your mind, familiarize yourself with it, and accept the decision you made.
3. Be mentally prepared
This is among the most significant stages in this process, and therefore I will repeat it here. If destructive beliefs are a part of your way of thinking, it is worth tampering with the reality. It is a component of your mental addiction, one that deserves to be released before you even end the toxic relationship. They force you to be passive and take away the strength you need so much right now.
- He will certainly change, and we will be happy in the end;
- It’s all because of me;
- Losing this person is worse than living alone;
- Loneliness is terrible;
- Suffering is part of real love;
- When I end this relationship, I won’t ever find anyone for myself again.
Write each on a separate piece of paper and then symbolically tear it into small pieces. One by one, say goodbye to these limiting thought habits. You can even write down on a new page a belief that contradicts the above, for example “Being alone is great.” For each of these beliefs, write down 3 reasons why that thought is true.
4. Imagine life without this person
One of the reasons breakups are so hard is because we have a really clear picture of the future in mind. No matter how many years you have been together, visions of a happy future are a natural part of this unhappy relationship. When unexpectedly this image shattered into pieces, what remained in its place? Scary black hole.
From a psychological standpoint, it is natural to be afraid of what we do not know. Therefore, the key to freeing yourself from difficult emotions is to develop a new image of life – this time without a partner. Such an image will offer you a sense of security and will make it easier for you to take the next step.
Give yourself a moment of peace and quiet, sit down and shut your eyes. Imagine what your life would be like when you were free from a toxic relationship. How will this freedom affect your work and daily well-being? What will you do in your free time? What will your life be like a few years from now? Fill your imagination with dozens of pictures from a future where you are happy – as a single or in another healthy couple relationship.
5. Prepare what you want to communicate
Preparing yourself properly for a conversation where you tell your ex-spouse everything is a key step in the entire process. Expressing your feelings clearly and communicating your decision directly will help you break free from this person once and for all. It’s best to write down everything you want to say on a piece of paper. When you approach this exercise for the first time, just write down what comes to mind. Don’t consider whether it is worth talking about something or not, you’ll consider it at a later stage. Now just put everything you have in your heart down on paper.
Keep it for a day or two, then return to written text. Now you can consider it again. Think about which issues are important to you and which aren’t and you can move past them. Rewrite the whole text or take notes using keywords. This form of preparation will make it easier for you to have difficult conversations.
When preparing the body of your speech, keep three things in mind:
– I encourage you to start the conversation by saying that the decision has been made and nothing is going to change it. Let your ex-spouse know that you have thought about it many times and are confident in what you are doing. Ask your ex-spouse not to try to convince you – make it clear that you’ll not change your mind again. This is important because at least to some extent it will discourage your partner from using manipulative tricks to throw you off balance.
– Let go of all the toxic messages like “it’s all because of you” or “you ruined my life”. This will only complicate the process, both for you and for others. It can even trigger recriminations and rather than trying to express what’s on your heart, you’ll fall into the trap of blaming one another.
– If you really feel the need to say everything you have been suppressing for months or years, then do it. However, do not judge others, but only speak about your emotions (rather than “You’re a loser, say” I feel lonely, because I do not support you enough “).
6. Compose an e-mail
this point optional. I know how difficult conversations like that can be. Sometimes even if you have prepared well, you cannot say even half of the things you write on a piece of paper because of emotion. If that helps you, you can write an email before the meeting. Write in it that you’d like to meet, but you’ll start with an email – because it’s easier for you to express and organize your thoughts.
Picture everything you feel. Convey a motive for your decision. Underline that the handle has collapsed and this is what you want. Offer to meet at a neutral venue. It’s a good idea to meet in a public place to avoid shouting and throwing plates.
Thanks to this form of the first message, the rest of the conversation will be based on the fact that the other person knows everything you want to convey to him. You will be able to calmly repeat what is most important to you, discuss the formalities and “officially” end the relationship.
7. Don’t get involved in emotional games
There’s a good chance that your partner will do anything to keep you with them when they talk about breaking up. This will make it more difficult for you to end the relationship in any way you can. He can cry loudly and say that he can’t handle being alone in life. He can make himself a victim and build guilt in you. He can insult you and call you selfish. He might even blackmail you.
Remember that these are all games designed to manipulate your emotions. Repeat that despite all this play, you won’t change your mind. If your partner needs to break up hard and tearfully, accept it. You are no longer connected to this person – let him deal with it the way he can.
8. Schedule 2 weeks after the breakup
A good plan will help you avoid feeling lost, which often involves a strong desire to return to your partner. First of all, remember to avoid contact with your ex-spouse after you leave. Do everything you can to avoid conversations and meetings. This is especially important at this stage, as any conversation can reopen wounds that are just starting to heal.
Immediately plan as many different activities as possible. Talk to your friends and family.. Take on extra projects at work. Leave it for a few days. Sign up for yoga, dance lessons, mma lessons. Fill the time you can spend lying in bed and thinking about your finished relationship with activities that will take your mind off it.
9. Remember the reason for the breakup
Remembering the best moments is the most painful thing after a breakup. A small object is enough to create an avalanche of images associated with beautiful moments in life with this person. However, you must remember that this is a sneaky way for your subconscious to force you back into the old, “safe” scheme. Pleasant memories create the illusion that the relationship is better than it actually was.
Therefore, your practice will be completely opposite. Visualize regularly the most unpleasant moments that formed the basis of your decision to break up. Remember why you decided to end the relationship. This will make it easier for you to take the next steps:
10. Do not change your decision
At least for the first two months. If you decide later that you can’t live without this person and you really want to try again, that’s okay. You will be able to take this into account and prepare yourself well for work in the union (if the ex-partner wants it too, of course). However, returning to your partner too soon after a breakup is almost always disastrous.
It will most likely hurt twice and you may must undergo another breakup. Give yourself time to break your addiction to this person. Give yourself time to learn to live alone, to regain balance and inner peace. Then you can do whatever you want, but if it crosses your mind to get back at the partner you were in a toxic relationship with, think twice before telling him anything.
11. Enjoy your freedom
Find the joy of being free from emotional manipulation, fights, and mistakes. Learn to breathe fully and focus on yourself. Start taking care of yourself in alternative ways. This may be difficult at first, but the more you think about it, the quicker you’ll remember what happiness is.
Thank you for reading this article on how to end a toxic relationship and I actually hope you take action on my advice. I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.