How To Get Over Jealousy Issues In a Relationship [Step-by-Step]
This article has everything you need to know about how to deal with jealousy in a relationship.
Jealousy – what precisely is it about? Jealousy has existed since the start of mankind and will exist until the end of time.
So what is jealousy?
The American heritage dictionary states that it’s: Fear of losing position or affection, hate of competition; jealous, possessive wary; alert.
In addition, envy has a powerful bond with jealousy because it reads from the same book as:
Feelings of dissatisfaction and hatred engendered by the possession or quality desired by someone else, by a powerful desire to have it for oneself.
It continues to read as compared to jealousy: The highly desired possession of another person. People who have what others actually want.
How To Overcome Jealousy Problems In A Relationship
Now, if you aren’t confused about the difference between envy and jealousy, you can take a second look.
Did you notice that the dictionary incorporates envy into its definition of jealousy; however, don’t incorporate jealousy into jealousy.
Distinguishing one from the other is wise to examine oneself in light of these feelings.
When one shows envy, it’s more connected to the possessions of others; whereas, in one jealousy, it’s more rooted in a person deprived of another person’s affection or their position in life.
While the two can be, and often are interrelated, they can cause more confusion for somebody who wants to understand them better.
The psychology behind these delusional emotions…..
It can’t be overstated that the emotion of jealousy is fueled by an absence of personal security within a person: therefore, when a person feels totally insecure, the mind can spin itself into an instant web of self-doubt.
Insecurity is a natural emotion that we have since we were kids.
We feel insecure when mom or dad is not around.
As a child, we feel insecure when we are left someplace for seemingly longer periods of time than usual.
As we grew, so did our insecurities.
When other kids tease or belittle you at school, in what we now see as petty and nonsensical, our safety is called into question.
Overall, insecurities from youth to adulthood can, and often do, grow quite a lot.
Jealousy, in most people, does not just stay in a pool of insecurities and oftentimes we shove it into our internal baggage compartments together with control, manipulation, and self-esteem amongst many other dead weights.
We only trust what we can truly trust inside.
If there’s tremendous doubt about your partner’s intentions, you can bet that the jealous emotion possibly will not be around for long.
So, what are the lines crossed by someone who is so arrogant that it sabotages one’s relationship?
If there’s a natural residue of the emotion of jealousy embedded deep within all of us, then crossing into other realms of this feeling to a pathological level will take a toll on the health of a relationship.
When you cannot totally trust your partner whether it is your partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend; then your security within the confines of the relationship is compromised.
This can manifest itself into your own internal wheel spinning out of control, overthinking and analyzing.
‘This feel wheel uses regular fuel to propel itself and by incorporating confidence into the equation, you have a full rocket powered sports car’!
If people have valid reasons to distrust their partner, and have a good sense of security, they won’t display the same behavior as the classic insecure individual: someone who is so alert that they can imagine their partner with someone else intimately. base, and lots of times do uncontrollably.
Usually, when people are faced with the undeniable fact that they aren’t trusted by their partners anytime they’re out of the house, they have a tendency to feel bad about their position in the relationship, therefore only end up feeling bad towards them.
Again, if one is continually showered with careless accusing bullets, then the tires wear out until the tread begins to evaporate.
For example, in someone’s mind, you tend to wonder why your partner is so obsessed with not talking to the opposite sex at work, or in restaurants.
It then becomes a kind of obsession.
This obsession circulates in a jealous mind like a house with all its windows open.
His cycle of mistrust is ingrained in the accuser time and time again, to the point of destroying the relationship he tried so hard to protect.
Whether you vouch for your partner’s untrustworthy vigilance, otherwise you never give any reason for it, the key to unlocking the door that holds the relationship hostage is living in jealous minds.
Resetting and training the brain not to at all times react when faced with jealousy by understanding the roots of its security and bringing trust and confidence back into the relationship, simply injecting more health into its being.
All this for three easy payouts to let go!
Let go of the concepts that imprison jealous people; let go of insecurities in relationships, whether past experiences or not, and let go of mistrust of others to the extent that it cripples relationships.
When you let go of unrealistic ideas, you think with a clarity and clear logic that you have at all times accepted but could never realize.
Living in this health-filled state bears more fruit than one can imagine and slides rather than a relationship towards a brighter and more prosperous future.
Easier said than done, right?
It all trusted what internal and external forces allowed one to hinder their progress.
If someone had at all times put forth their best to only back down twice as a result of internal strife, that would equal a negative two to one ratio.
However, if one continues in reverse with two forwards and as life wants, one backwards because nothing in life is ideal, then the installation of a program for progress can be made.
These emotions can be overcome and defeated.
Either a lady is jealous of another and her claws are at all times out, or a man really cannot stand the thought of his wife looking at another man where he might, in turn, stalk her.
If a person is so insecure that releasing the hold this emotion has on him is impossible through self-examination or professional help, it can’t only destroy the relationship, but also lead to more serious consequences such as physical abuse or worst of all, murder.
Getting to the point where a relationship is on the brink of collapse because of the other person’s wrong assumptions or misguided ideas places the onus on the accuser to make or break the deal.
However, when the accused person begins to bring up the matter to the accuser, there’s a special need to be verbalized to the jealous person allowing them to fully understand the enormity of the situation at hand.
If a jealous person is unable to heal himself or herself through this hardline talk and action, then seeking professional assistance is not a bad idea.
However, you cannot squeeze anything out of the rock?!
There is a cost-benefit analysis that people can practically incorporate into every aspect of decision-making in life, and this one is no exception.
Is the price of staying in a relationship in this condition worth the long-term benefits, or is it too expensive to keep it going?
Jealous people have an insecurity problem; there isn’t any doubt about that…. and that’s neither ordinary nor extraordinary to many people living on this earth.
However, taking into consideration the extent to which they feel insecure about themselves and how they feel a threat to someone’s love for them or time spent; they will succumb to feelings of jealousy because of their internal security conflicts.
This is not the main psychological damage!
If you’re a jealous person or dealing with jealous people, this normally does not just indicate the disorder itself.
Although, if you couple or place personality disorder above jealousy, you have the makings of a real powder keg ten times over!
As we all know, everyone seems to be a little different from one another and lots of times!
Thus, the lines that describe certain disorders can sometimes be skewed or blurred together.
It’s important to note that ‘gasoline’ can in fact escalate a jealous person into a wild rampage of instability.
It is also important to note that personality disorders aren’t at all times classified as tried and true mental disorders.
However, they can and often do lead to a diagnosis of a mental disorder if left untreated.
Let’s have a look at the ‘gas’ that makes jealousy ten times worse.
Antisocial Personality Disorder:
While it’s much more common in the male population, it can even affect the female population.
Some of the essential traits of this affliction are lack of guilt, impulsiveness, not caring about other people’s emotions or feelings, can be very charming, shows signs of passive aggressive behavior, and can have a criminal history that is commonly not shared with many people. .
This person is totally self-absorbed, they lack the traits of empathy or the capacity to empathize, they can be controlling, egocentric, insensitive to others, and intolerant of anything apart from what they want.
In anger, jealousy over this distraction can lead to dire consequences for all parties involved.
Anankastic/Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder:
It is not OCD or to be confused with obsessive compulsive disorder because it can take on many other traits.
But the problem related to these kinds of individuals is over or overly fixated on details, schedules, lists, rules, and the like.
This person is so preoccupied with something or someone that many times hinders their ability to complete tasks at work, takes away time-based opportunities, and can lead to compulsive surveillance of other individuals when jealousy gets to them.
They see the glass half empty many times and exaggerate or casually make too much of a conversation with their partner.
These are dangerous individuals if left too long to their own devices and can sink into more harsh mental disorders if not corrected in a sound psychiatric based setting (such as in seeing a psychiatrist).
Paranoid Personality Disorder:
Unfortunately, this one annoyance can be a fuel for jealous gas; and when combined, become very explosive!
Someone who is continually on the lookout for other people and what they could do if they let their guard down, this individual literally looks for ‘what they think’ for clues to confirm their paranoia.
Usually people who are outwardly self-confident, can show over-sensitivity to loud rebuttals from others or harbor contempt and embarrassment ‘near the vest’ or push further inward.
It can be difficult for this kind of person to engage in and possibly maintain intimate relationships with other people, but when they’re able to do such a thing, they last a lifetime!
If they feel as if someone is trespassing on their territory (their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife), they will time and again attack their significant other and others who make them feel threatened or jealous.
Schizoid Personality Disorder:
In people who suffer from this condition, they often ignore the external environment around them and focus more inwardly on themselves.
They can be daydreamers and get lost in their own fantasy world for long periods of time.
When in a relationship, they find the experience distressing overall and often too difficult to sustain.
If they sense someone else is trying to steal the love, love, or attention they can receive from their significant other, they can turn their dream-like fantasy world and the like into a skewed reality that only they can interpret.
Therefore, mixing this personality type with feelings related to jealousy can even be a whole disaster when things are left ‘out of control’.
Dependent Personality Disorder:
These individuals are usually unable to make decisions and even carry out daily activities without the help of others.
Their view of themselves is that of ‘a helpless person’ and ‘unable to stand on one’s own two feet’.
Therefore, they’re emotionally and sometimes physically dependent on their partner in every way possible.
They feel truly one with that person and become very protective and lots of times secretly idolize the ground that person walks on.
Feelings of being abandoned or abandoned can be overwhelming for this person and they many times do everything in their power to ensure that does not occur.
If they feel belittled in even the most marginal way as a result of other people taking what they feel is theirs, they can lash out and the compatibility can many times take a physical turn and escalate into an undesirable state.
Borderline personality disorder:
Often associated by the professional psychiatric community with sexual abuse as a child; (particularly in women), this disorder is commonly confused with or diagnosed in men as anti-social personality disorder.
Their relationship was repeatedly on a bad foundation which was compounded by emotional instability, loud outbursts, impulsive overreactions (particularly when criticized), and bouts of overly intense anger.
There is a direct link to this disorder and overall suicidal tendencies; and there is commonly a history of contact with health care amenities as a result.
The theory behind the classification of such a disorder is that it sits on the border of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and neurotic/anxiety disorders.
When entwined with feelings of jealousy, this person can really damage themselves and others if given the chance.
There is commonly a fine line that many ‘jealous individuals’ walk where they logically know that their feelings of jealousy (1) is unwarranted, however, because of their personality disorder, insecurities about themselves, or simply a fear of being abandoned, they choose to stay in that emotional mindset and permit those feelings to shift their consciousness time and time again.
If you’re a ‘naturally jealous person’, your own lack of self-confidence can be overcome by forbidding feelings of inadequacy or fear of abandonment from entering your mind.
By stopping those thoughts from passing through the doors of your consciousness, you strengthen your ability to fight jealousy at its root.
This obviously requires a mature mindset that can identify with what is going on in their head (from a jealous standpoint) and who is willing and able to take action on those thoughts when they arise.
A person who has the capacity for jealousy must also understand that they can only control themselves and what finally happens to them, not what their partner does or doesn’t do.
Therefore, if your significant other chooses to spend time with other people while in your company, flirt deliberately or unintentionally; or even comment about other people in a really open or different way, it is just their choice.
That’s how to ‘get the jealous person’s attention and make them even more jealous’, or perhaps it is an exit strategy.
That said, it is not appropriate at all, but jealousy should not be part of the equation.
The point is, control only what you can control and let other people make mistakes if they aren’t fully committed to you.
As a result, they may lose you altogether for ‘not playing by logical relationship rules’.
Jealousy is an emotion that we all can control and must not enter our minds, but when the person is unable to try this, there should be great concern for any pre-existing personality disorders that are simply feeding on the jealousy. .
Don’t be afraid to address a disorder that you, a psychologist, or psychiatrist has diagnosed if you’re prone to jealousy or fear of loss/abandonment.
Personality disorders aren’t unusual and have a direct effect on how we personally view our own intimate relationships.
Time is of the essence in overcoming jealousy!
Time waits for nobody and is indifferent to everybody’s needs.
Is it worth more than money?
Possible; however, it really depends on who you ask, but if it was my decision, I would take three hundred years of good living with very little collateral versus fifty to one hundred years with lots of wealth.
Often times, time itself is wasted in relationships (2) that, (from the mind of logical thinking), is clearly a dead end?
Although, hoping things get better can eat up quite a lot of that precious time and lots of of us could spend time in additional rewarding and mutually beneficial relationships.
Happiness is what we all deserve, and seeking it’s what we all must do; however, correcting what is wrong within us can really be achieved by introspection using logic as a basis.
In turn, repairing the relationship by improving yourself is worth every minute spent on it because of the foundation and history that exists in the couple.
Undoubtedly, not giving up on working on jealous behavior, curbing their existence by dealing with security issues yourself, can save time invested and propel the relationship into the future.
Everyone has choices and there are at all times two ways of looking at it, but admitting to the problem in the end, and then trying hard to come up with a solution to repair the relationship is the only way to survive.
Otherwise, there would be quite a lot of wasted time that could have been used more effectively, and moving forward would therefore be the inevitable next step.
Remember that everything can be controlled in terms of slacking into your brain; thoughts can be controlled, irrespective of what you might think otherwise.
Perception is unnecessarily skewed and other people’s actions are something you do not need to try to control….it’s absolutely futile.
Take the required steps if you think you may have the disorder or work to help the one you love if you think they may have it.
Plus, here are jealousy quotes if you want, “If you’re the one having a problem with jealousy, record your emotions logically and if the other person in your relationship is being unfaithful and creating havoc by getting too near them. other person, just ignore your jealousy and then calmly let the person know your overall feeling….that it’s not good to put your relationship in that way.
And if it happens again even although you tell them your honest feelings, walk away from the relationship because it is not in your best interest to continue under such conditions.
There’s no need to be jealous in a relationship; by adhering to the ‘standard and logical parameters’ of any given relationship (and holding others accountable under the same conditions), one can avoid these feelings and let God-given logic lead the way.
Jealousy needs to be taken seriously, but it can be treated and totally avoided!
Thank you for reading this article on how to deal with jealousy in a relationship and I actually hope you take my advice into action.
I sincerely wish each reader all the best in fixing these issues and to know that relationships take loyalty and commitment to last; it only takes the will of both parties to unite for the betterment of one another.