How To Keep Your Anger Under Control: The Definitive Guide

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If you have ever wondered how to control your anger: this article is for you.

What do you do when you’re abruptly faced with a disadvantageous situation? Like when you are running late for an interview and abruptly hit a roadblock, or a flat tire?

Or, when the passenger sitting next to you on a 14-hour flight is continually babbling or sipping their drink? Or, when you come home on a frosty night and find that the heater is not working?

What was your initial reaction to this situation?

Are you attempting to find other ways to attain your goals? Did you ask the flight attendant to change your seat for the rest of the flight? Are you attempting to find an electrician who can come for a fast fix as quickly as possible?

Or, do you babble and ramble, scream, shout, harass, raise your voice, and make a scene in front of other people?

Life will at all times present you with flat tires and annoying travel companions. But it is up to you as a person to meet and greet and work out this situation as logically as possible.

You have two ways to get past this. Keep calm and think of a solution; or, get angry and make the situation worse.

How To Keep Your Anger In Control:

Anger is present everywhere, and in everybody, from every walk of life.

We all get angry at some point; some people just get angry more intensely and more often than others.

In some cases, anger is justified; in others, a person who continuously shows signs of extreme anger may have problems controlling his angry mentality.

That’s where anger management comes in.

Anger management, as you might guess from the name, is the act of managing your anger, or controlling your anger.

This may sound like a simple task for some, but it just means you do not have a problem with anger.

It’s people who have trouble controlling their anger at the simplest of provocations who need anger management lessons.

Before we delve into the ways and techniques of managing anger and anger, let’s know a little more about anger – why, how, and when.

Definition of Anger

Surprisingly, it is quite difficult to define anger.

When asked ‘what is anger’, people tend to answer with the situation or gesture that made them angry, or how they feel when they’re angry.

This proves that anger is a wholly personal sentiment. What makes one person burn with rage makes no sense to another.

So when you see people rambling and rambling about forgetting to buy cigarettes for the night and all the shops are closed, it most likely does not make much sense to you.

Again, if you are upset because the family living next door is playing loud music, it most likely does not make sense to them why you cannot enjoy some good music while they can.

The formal definition says that anger is:

“A robust feeling of displeasure and hostility generated by wrongdoing; anger; anger.”

Reasons for Anger

Since it is actually difficult to define it, let’s find out the triggers or motives that lead to anger, that is, the reasons why we are angry.

You may get angry when:

You are injured and physically in pain

You are hungry and have no immediate access or choice to food

You find yourself a victim of a crime, such as theft, robbery, harassment, rape, etc. You’re stressed, stuck in traffic jams, or long queues

You suffer great grief, for example, when a loved one passes away. You are sexually frustrated

You are withdrawing from addictions, i.e. drugs, alcohol, sex you have been cheated on or cheated on

You are facing problems in your relationship

You are tired or exhausted

You recently experienced rudeness or bad behavior. You get irritated and feel helpless

You feel as if you are being controlled by someone else

You are under pressure at work, namely demanding bosses, deadlines are looming you are facing a financial or debt crisis

You feel disappointed in yourself and others

As I said before, life will give you many reasons to be angry, but do you know what excessive anger can do to your life?

Impact of Anger

A little bit of anger in some cases may be helpful and needed, such as standing up to an opportunist boss, talking back to someone who was rude; however, in most scenarios, anger does have a negative impact on our lives.

Usually, the most common reaction to anger – whether it be mild irritation or a flexed muscle – is harsh words, words once spoken can never be taken back.

When we are angry, we never stop thinking about the person we hit; they may be our loved ones – our friends and partners, our parents, children, or even acquaintances and strangers.

People usually tend to say very harsh and hurtful words when they are angry, and these words are very often the reason many relationships, friendships, and careers are ruined.

The physical changes that occur in our bodies in extreme anger must also be considered.

These changes can lead to heart attacks, blood pressure, and other dangerous conditions.

Some people turn destructive and violent in anger, and continue to destroy their property and valuables in anger. This can even extend to other people getting physically injured in the process.

Anger makes people make wrong decisions that can harm themselves and others.

Shout “I quit!” or “I’m divorcing you!” or even things like “I wish you never came back!” can make changes in your life that you don’t want.

So yes, controlling and managing your emotions is very important. This is what this article is all about – the ultimate guide to managing your anger problems.

Anger Management – ​​What you can do

If you think you have a problem with anger, or if you think someone around you might have a problem in this area, then you’ve come to the right place to find out how to help.

In this chapter, I’ve outlined some proven tips and exercises that will help you control your anger, when in any situation you feel like exploding in anger.

1. Find the real reason behind your anger

You’re on your way to work, and suddenly find yourself in a traffic jam that’s unnatural for your commute.

Naturally, you find yourself angry at the situation. Your anger grows to a level where you can feel a full rage attack.

At this precise moment, take a moment and ask yourself: why am I getting so angry? Is the traffic jam the real reason behind your anger, or is there something else?

Maybe you had a bad start to your day because you had a restless night. Maybe you’re hungry because you were in a hurry and didn’t have time for breakfast.

Maybe you have too many deadlines (1) waiting for you in the office that needs immediate attention.

In most cases, there isn’t really a clear reason you’re angry; it is a hidden reason and requires thought to emerge.

Do you know someone who is always angry? Was he always in a bad mood, shouting and harassing others, causing people to fear them?

Look for any reasons behind the obvious reasons the person is showing.

It’s usually not the traffic jams, the burnt toast, the lost wallet that makes people angry; it may be something more intimate.

Did the person grow up in an abusive family in their childhood? Are they in a bad place in their relationship? Are they having financial difficulties? Are they frustrated about something?

Find that hidden agenda and you will be able to help them, or yourself, control your anger.

2. Learn to calm down

The moment you know you’re angry – no matter how big or small the reason – you have to start working on calming yourself down.

It’s not an easy task, but if you can pinpoint when you know you’re angry and can somehow steer it into your control, then you can learn to manage your anger skillfully.

We’ll cover calming tricks later in the next chapter, in detail.

3. Avoid your triggers

Everyone has some triggers that automatically make them angry, such as actions or words.

For example, you are a relaxed person and like to do things at a slower pace than other people. Of course, not everyone understands or appreciates this.


You may be called ‘lazy’ or ‘unemployed’ – words you can’t stand.

Or, imagine that you hate smoking and anyone who smokes around you makes you unnaturally angry.

When you see other people smoking around you, at a party or restaurant, you always know if you are going to get angry and explode.

These two concepts – smoking and being called ‘lazy’ or ‘idle’ – are your triggers. All you have to do is avoid these trigger points and you can control your anger.

It may take a little work on your behalf but it will be well worth it.

Avoid people who think you are lazy or unemployed. If you see any conversation leading up to it, excuse yourself and leave.

Steer clear of the topic, and avoid conversations that will eventually fall back on your habits. Avoid going to public places where smoking is permitted.

Keep ‘no smoking’ signs around your workplace, car and home. Politely tell people you don’t like the smell and leave the conversation if someone is about to flare up.

If there are some people you don’t like – people who, as the saying goes, just offend you in the wrong way, avoid them.

If you happen to run into them at a social or corporate gathering, just say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ and move on.

Don’t give them a chance to piss you off.

4. Keep communication open

No matter how angry you are with someone, there’s nothing better than keeping the lines of communication open.

If your next door neighbor is loud and rude, and disturbing your restful sleep at home, instead of getting angry and judgmental, try talking to them and getting them to respect your boundaries.

Approach them in a logical way: “Hey, I know you have a big family and there’s bound to be uproar because you have kids. I understand that completely; but know that I work hard all day, and I really need my sleep. I would appreciate it if you could try and be a little quieter at night.”

Chances are, your neighbors do not know they’re intruding, and will definitely try to keep the noise down when you are at home.

Communication is the greatest thing that human beings have, and keeping that opportunity open can open up new opportunities that anger definitely cannot have.

5. Take it out

When I say vent your anger, I mean venting it through a channel that’s healthier than getting angry and vindictive.

Many people have found physical exercise to be a healthy outlet for anger. So the next time you end up mad, or on the verge of one, just pack your gear and head to the nearest gym.

Alternatively, you can get out for a run, jog, or try some light exercise with your hands free where you are.

This may not at all times be possible, particularly if you are at work, if it is late or not on time. If you feel angry in this situation, try to distance yourself from the problem, at least for now.

Take half an hour and go out for coffee alone, or go to the next room and listen to some relaxing music; cook or clean, if you like.

If you are creative, channel your anger into your field. Draw, sing, or play music that will help you calm down. Some people write down what’s bothering them on paper or try to write a poem about how they’re feeling.

6. Reach people

Some problems may be too big for you to handle alone.

When something happens that makes you angry and helpless, do not be shy about reaching out to someone you can talk to.

These people may or may not be capable to help you – but they can really help just by listening to your problems. They may be siblings, friends, your spouse or your parents.

So, do not hesitate to call or meet someone and complain or nag them when you are feeling angry.

If you still feel overwhelmed by your anger, each area has trained psychiatrists and therapists who can help you deal with your problems.

They can help you identify and control your problem and help you through the recovery process.

Anger Management – ​​Instant trick

It is very easy to advise someone to ‘control their anger’, ‘calm themselves’ or even ‘relax and calm down’, but it is quite difficult in real life to really achieve this.

In this article, we’re not just going to provide you with empty advice, but we’re going to show you legitimate and proven ways to try and control your anger.

When you abruptly feel angry, all logic normally goes out the window and all that’s left is blind anger.

It really wasn’t the time to reason rationally or come up with solutions; those things come later when you have found a way to cool off being a reasonable human being and not reminding people of the Incredible Hulk!

In this paragraph, you’ll find some quick fix tips that are sure to help you control your anger for now.

Tip#1: Old Countdown

Yes, the historical technique of counting down really works, and it is still a method of calming down when you are angry, frustrated, or agitated.

The next time you are angry, or angry, or could be angry, instantly close your eyes, take a deep breath and begin counting: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…0 .

Not successful?

Take a deeper breath and do the same thing again, and again if you want. Or, you can begin at 50 if you’re very angry: 50…49…48…47…4…3…2…1…0.

Even if you feel calm before reaching 0, do not stop but finish the countdown. You can count mentally, or use your fingers as a distraction.

Either way, this technique virtually at all times works for everybody!

Tip#2: Breathing Exercises

An alternative to counting is breathing exercises as done with Yoga (2).

At the highest moment of anger, stop and sit down. Put your hands on your chair every time possible and shut your eyes.

Inhale, wait a moment; now take a long time, breathe out. Repeat this technique: inhale, wait, exhale. Inhale, wait, exhale.

Repeat the same pattern for at least 5 minutes, or about 15/20 cycles.

Now comes the tricky part: stop thinking about the rest and think about your breathing.

Forget where you are, what you are doing; forget about background noise, screaming boss, screaming kids. Your only focus is your breathing.

To focus, you can try timing your breaths, or counting them – anything to keep your mind busy.

After a couple of minutes, your anger will subside, and your body will relax.

Tip#3: Shift Your Focus

In a situation where you are standing in a long, impatient queue where the partner in front of you is fighting loudly, there is a screaming baby right behind you, and where you may need to wait a few more minutes, it is natural to start. feeling a little angry.

What to do if you abruptly become a victim of something like this? You shift your focus, obviously.

Eliminate the hopeless situation you are in, and look at something else in the distance for about 2 minutes.

It could be anything: a flower pot in the distance, a movie poster, a button in an elevator, a floral print on someone’s shirt.

Look at the object and really see it – look at the colour, try to imagine or remember the texture; fully think about the object.

Shift your focus back after a minute, and if you still have time to kill, look at something else. Voila! There’s no time to be angry, no matter how frustrated you may have been in the moments before.

Tip#4: Go to ‘your special’ place

Aren’t there places we love?

The place we have at all times wanted to visit, but never had the time? Or, the small town where we spent the most charming time of our childhood? Or, the beach where we honeymooned?

It’s your place!

Feeling angry? Go to that place, right now!

No need for tickets, or suitcases or itineraries; Imagine yourself playing soccer like you did when you were 12, or standing on the beach where you spent a romantic week with your partner.

Don’t just try to tell yourself you were there, try to visualise the place precisely how you remember it, or precisely how you want it to be.

Remember every aspect of that place – the sounds, the smells, the air, the weather.

Stay there until you end up utterly drained of all the anger you felt a moment ago, and then come back. Whoosh!

All your anger – gone!

Tip #5: Write it down

Feeling killed? Wish you could throw someone off the 12th floor and be done with them? Well, you cannot do this, no matter how angry you get with someone.

What can you do, write down.

Grab a pen and a piece of paper and begin scribbling: I hate that person. I wish I could kill him. He makes my life miserable. I hope something bad happens to them. I hate him. I hope I never must see it again in my life.

Write down everything you see yourself saying to that person. Now, when your anger is gone, destroy the paper.

You do not want anyone to see it, ever.

After all, that’s not how you really feel; it is only your anger doing the talking. You hardly meant anything you wrote about that person.

You can try typing out your emotions, but using the analogy works best for venting anger.

Tip#6: Have Faith in Someone

There must be someone in your life who is more than willing to help you through this. At a crunch time, borrow their ear to help you calm down.

When you feel angry and frustrated in a queue, call them and complain, even whine: This is so frustrating! I stood in line for more than an hour!

Or, I hate it when my boss takes all the credit for my work. I wish I could do something about it.

If that person is your well-wisher, they will endure their anger patiently. Better you attack them than the person behind you in line or your boss!

This may seem to be a small exercise that will help you manage your anger for a minute or two, but remember: when you’re able to control your anger in the short term, it will help you see the bigger picture and eventually guide you through your life. problem.

When you’re able to handle your anger in the early moments of it, you’ll soon have complete control over it.

Thank you for reading this article on how to control your anger and I actually hope you take action on my advice.

I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.