This article contains proven steps and techniques on how to manage anger at work, controlling and thoroughly eliminating any anger problems you may encounter at work.
Anger that manifests itself at work is usually rooted in issues closer to home, unresolved, or unnoticed, except in your unconscious.
This is why this guide starts by first getting you to acknowledge your anger, the resulting behavior, and then carefully takes you on a journey of self-diagnosis, during which you discover precisely where the anger is rooted.
Dealing with anger is a long, step-by-step process.
Here I speak about how to deal with the root of your problem and then about how you can monitor and stop outbursts, while you concurrently work on improving your thinking, in addition to carefully removing negativity from your life in the first place.
The following text contains specific examples from actual workplaces, and is used in conjunction with specific human resource management techniques to illustrate how the latter is used to combat such situations.
How to Manage Anger at Work:
Understanding Your Anger
To begin with, let’s be honest. We’re all mad. Anger is as much a part of our daily life as breathing, or sunshine.
In normal situations, anger is not even a big deal, it’s when it starts taking forms like mutant anger, which is beyond our control and when it starts showing up in the most inappropriate places like at work, or in your relationships – that anger or ‘get angry’ as we say so eloquently – to be trouble.
The worst place to lose your cool is most likely the office, I mean, everybody has their fights but, bringing the same ‘problems’ with you to work, presents you not only as the most unprofessional employee but also the most unstable. – both can and will have long-term effects on your colleagues, bosses and even those under you!
This is why managing your anger at work is so important – without even going into details, you have already thought about how unfairly you are judged based on your reaction to a fool or ridiculous situation and do you know what that means? ?
It means you are already controlled by your anger and its consequences. Annoying is not it?
Thankfully for you, stuck with your anger issues is not an unsolvable one – at least not anymore!
The very first thing you need to do is take a deep breath!
Yes! You heard me right – take a breath.
Now slowly count backwards from three.
Do you feel a vibration in your neck? It’s what you let go of, and that is just the start.
In this post you’ll now be introduced to a revolutionary 10 step program that won’t only help you control your anger, but will also help you get to a certain level of tempering so you can officially become a better you!
Now, the first two steps you must take are to face and understand your anger.
Anger is not something that just exists, it is a reaction, and it is something people often forget. But understand that, as a reaction, anger must at all times have an underlying trigger.
What you need to do is determine precisely what your underlying triggers are – so you can determine precisely what causes you to act up, and more importantly to lose control.
1. Acknowledge Your Anger
For most people, the toughest step to take is the first.
Like the seven stages of grief, denial tends to top the list and also precedes any manifestation of anger.
It’s quite common for somebody to say, ‘I’m not angry!’, or ‘I do not have an anger problem.’ – Meanwhile the question is not whether or not they have it – but how to deal with it if they’ve it.
Now think of yourself as that person, stop questioning whether or not you have anger management issues, or anger issues, just pretend you do.
This is usually the toughest part of the entire process, but if rather than fighting the thought that you might have an anger problem, you can stop and try to actually look at your anger problem, choose how it manifests and then you’ll find yourself alone. much closer to mastering things.
2. Question Your Anger
Now that you have accepted the presence of anger in your life – all you must do now is try to understand your anger.
Think of your anger like a puzzle. What’s the missing piece? Where do they slot in?
In this case the worker with divorce issues clearly has anger issues, but simply knowing you have a ‘problem’ is not going to solve your problem – not until you begin to question and cohesively outline what the problem is and why you are having the problem.
So return and question your anger – why did divorce cause you to have such an extreme reaction?
Are you still in love with your partner? Are you angry at your partner for some reason? What’s the precise reason? Are you blaming yourself? Is anger an expression of guilt?
If you continue to question your anger and the different manifestations of your anger, you’ll soon find yourself confronted with a reason, this reason is your baseline – it’s the reason your anger and frustration started building up and now you know why it exists. You can try fixing it or accepting it so it does not bother you so much.
After accepting, acknowledging, and now taking steps to understand what your anger is actually about, it is time to speak about how you’ll master this particular demon of yours.
As in all good management plans, the key to freeing yourself from anger lies in the details.
We’ve explained how the little details of life like insecurities, self-doubt, feelings of unfairness, and misplaced frustration can fuel Dr. Our inner banner.
What we now have to determine is when these explosions occurred, how they were triggered, what warning signs we happened to miss and how to evaluate them.
This is a big step in dealing with anger issues because it breaks down the stages of anger, and lets you slow the process down enough to catch up and take care.
The fourth step, which will follow the evaluation of these triggers, is actual emotional control and restarting the thought processes that brought us to that particular point.
Here, having learned to identify triggers and cues, we use Pavlov’s Theory to condition ourselves not to act in anger, and in the end not to be angry at all!
3. Look for Signs and Triggers
Any time you get angry or feel yourself about to get angry, you’ll find that you’re experiencing some sort of pattern.
These are your body’s warning signals telling you that you are not in the better of moods – for some this can start with an increased pulse, a tense or clenched jaw, flushing and sweating and for some people accidentally clenching their fists.
However, this is the more prominent factor – one that you should not miss. Your body’s warning signals in fact start long before this.
During intense or uncomfortable situations, you’ll find that you have an inclination to cross yourself – physically, for some people they cross their arms, for others, they cross their legs, and for some it’s both.
This crossing is your mind telling your body to get defensive, or shut down and is usually an early warning signal that you do not like what is going on.
The other signals that you should remember of in fact do not have a physical manifestation like the examples given above.
But it is in fact one of the easiest ways to understand your mood swings, and it is all about words.
When we talk to other people or even to ourselves, we tend to use certain tones and words.
What we do not at all times realize is that the words we use both inside and outside our heads – speak volumes about what we occur to be feeling – are like using ‘good’ rather than ‘great’.
The more negative your word choice, the worse your mood – that’s why they at all times tell you to hold your tongue if you do not have anything nice to say – commendable advice in the office where something as small as a coworker showing up late can trigger it’ ‘office talk’, where you may not look friendly.
More importantly, the second you catch yourself holding your tongue, or getting less than positive, give yourself a fast check by asking yourself–
- Are you mad?
- Why do you think so?
- What can you do?
4. Mind Control
Of all the steps in this guide, this is most likely the one that sounds the least likely.
I mean, how often do you hear of somebody changing the way they think?
What we need to understand is, we’re not trying to ‘change’ our way of thinking, but rather controlling our thoughts for a certain period of time.
The thing is – the angrier we get, the more irrational we become which finally means we aren’t any longer rational, but we are also prone to extreme or even illogical thinking which tends to fuel anger.
Instead of bossing yourself around by asking yourself questions like:
- How true is what I said?
- Is this something I want to say in front of my kids?
- What are the advantages of this, that I’m missing?
While we have talked about anger, where it comes from and how best to control it, what we’ve not looked at more closely is where it occurs.
Like war-prone areas, there are also ‘zones’ in your office where you are more likely to be drawn into conflict, and there are ‘zones’ where you can safely remain neutral.
While remaining neutral, or keeping your voice down may feel self-contradictory, remember that a professional image can be tarnished by an argument that you’re ‘right’ just as easily as an argument where you are. Wrong’.
Either way, you’ll be perceived as a ‘problem’ employee – which isn’t what anyone wants.
Instead, the next time someone tries to drag you into the ditch of office politics or when you are feeling specially irritated or confrontational with an employee or boss – all you need to do is take a step back.
Not for them and not because you are weak or scared, but simply because you are smarter than that.
5. Taking Time-Outs
It’s easy to get caught up in a moment and let your anger get the better of you, particularly in a really urgent situation, because there tends to be such a terrific deal of personal emotional investment that you cannot think straight.
Now before you get defensive and claim that you’re perfectly capable of being rational and grounded – take a deep breath and think for a moment.
Lawyers and Judges aren’t allowed to stay in cases where they’ve a conflict of interest with a client, because they can inadvertently influence what should be their neutral behavior.
Whereas, the Physician’s Code of Ethics states that they shouldn’t treat patients who are emotionally involved because doing so jeopardizes their standard of care.
The reason behind the Time-out is pretty much the same.
If there is a disagreement at work that you are emotionally involved in and believe could affect you negatively or positively, if possible, take a step back and get out of it.
Since you are not a Lawyer or a Judge, you do not have to stay out of the discussion altogether, but take a walk when you get too excited, clear your head, try to take some deep breaths, and most significantly try to stay put. calm and undisturbed.
Giving yourself mini wait times, or forced breaks, is important.
This gives you time to calm down and come back with a clear head, which is a vital part of your personal anger management program.
6. Relaxation Techniques
The next thing we need to understand how to do is relax.
Going to take a Timeout will not help unless you come back with a cooler head, and how can someone come back with an even cooler head?
Why use these two key relaxation techniques obviously!
The first technique is the easiest, it is about breathing properly. When people are angry, they have a tendency to raise their blood pressure by deliberately taking short, fast breaths – do not.
Slowly. Take a deep breath, during which you visualize the air coming in through your nose, flowing into your windpipe and down your stomach.
Then carefully exhale through your mouth with a gentle push.
The second easy technique that you should try once you have managed to control your breathing.
Go find a seat, where you can close your eyes for five minutes.
What you will do now is a general mediation exercise in which you release tension through your thoughts.
After closing your eyes, visualize your body, now starting from the top of your head, mentally visualize your muscles relaxing one by one, working your way all the way down to the tips of your toes.
Take your time, it is suggested that you start with your scalp and the back of your neck, then slowly work your way all the way down to your spine.
By the end of this exercise, your body will feel as if you have just had a massage, and your mind will reflect the calmness of the post-massage moment.
What to Say and What NOT to Say
Now that we have gone through all the mandatory cool-down procedures, we’re officially back to the actual talking part of your Anger Management control center.
Obviously you cannot at all times avoid a difficult situation.
There are at all times times when you need to stay calm and truly speak about it – it’s during conversations like this that you need to understand what you need to say and what you need to avoid saying either through the actual words or subtle subtext.
7. Speak Without Negativity
When having a conversation, try to reduce resentment by using positive ways of saying whatever you must say.
For example, rather than saying ‘Mark got a promotion he did not deserve.’ Say ‘Mark is so lucky to be where he’s now.’
The easy reframing of the statement takes away what sounds like a vicious edge and makes you sound less envious and more talkative.
It also allows your unconscious to be more positive and this easy forced positivism can effectively make you feel more positive in the long run.
8. Clarifying Expectations
Another important step in Anger Management teaches you all about how you represent yourself, how you should represent yourself and how clear your expectations are.
If conversations with your boss offer you the impression that closing certain deals is putting you in the chair for a promotion or a raise, the smartest thing to do before you get fired up and begin working overtime is in fact clarifying that point.
Talk to your boss, let him know what his words you are interpreting mean, and then ensure that you are both on the same page.
This easy act not only allows you to make sure that you aren’t misinterpreting what you have been ordered or asked to do, it also provides you with a security net, whereby you have a record of your boss in fact stating clearly what she or he wants and what does he want. to give it away, so he cannot back down later and say – it was a terrific job, but a promotion was never what I offered it.
This is a lot like clarifying your stance with a verbal contract, where there’s already a clear offer and acceptance that you can depend on later, if need be.
The last two steps of your Anger Management at Work program are perhaps the two most vital of all.
The first deals with choices, it is about who you choose to be in a situation and how to retain the slack to become a better person and a bigger person.
Following this is the final and tenth step of this program, which is about forgiveness.
If you have been wronged or if you have wronged someone, remember that an apology is a terrific way to start over, it lets you show empathy and helps make you a bigger and better version of yourself.
9. Choose not to be Angry
It sounds a bit odd that somebody might choose not to get angry. It is nothing less than very true.
While a bad situation is just a bad situation, how you react to it’s certainly a choice, the proven fact that you are reading this article means that you want to take active steps towards the light and not be in the dark where anger takes place. You.
While not every situation has a positive side, you’ll at all times get the option to see every situation in a better light.
Instead of being angry that you passed up for a promotion, be happy that you were not one of the various employees who were fired or laid off.
Be grateful and optimistic and remember that you virtually at all times have a choice not to get angry.
10. Apologize and Start Anew
The last and final step in the program is to apologize.
If you have Anger Management issues, or have had Anger Management issues in the past that have affected your behavior with co-workers, superiors, and juniors, give your work atmosphere a positive update, by going up to them and apologizing for your behavior.
Apologizing gives you control over yourself.
It’s a way of admitting past mistakes and taking responsibility for them which then lets you at least try to start over.
And just like that, we’re done.
Ten easy steps to controlling your Workplace Anger and with each of them you not only bring yourself closer to an anger-free version of yourself, but also provide yourself with alternative routes to deal with the problem and overcome it.
Simply put, you have given yourself a way out.
Long gone are the days of you being a slave to your temper tantrums or outbursts, instead greeting the new you, the you you at all times wanted to be.
I hope this article on how to manage anger at work has helped you understand your anger and find ways to control and mitigate your anger at work in ten easy steps.
The next step is to try out the ten step program and test it. Feel free to share it with your friends who may need it too.