Today you’ll find out how to stop being needy in relationships.
Have you ever been labeled as too dependent or too connected in a relationship? Are you overly enthusiastic about a new friendship or romantic relationship and end up overwhelming others with your attention, only to have them distance themselves from you?
If you end up continually reaching out to someone more than they’re reaching out to you, it is likely that this behavior may come across as unattractive to others. To find out how to overcome this problem and build confidence, follow the first step given.
How To Stop Needing In Relationships:
1. Do it slowly.
Every relationship develops at its own pace, and there is no need to rush into becoming a close friend or soulmate simply because things are going well. Enjoy the freshness and excitement of getting to know someone new, because they won’t ever be the same again.
It’s uncertain how the connection will grow, but it is also thrilling! Be patient and enjoy the joy. Don’t try to push the relationship to a stage you are not ready for, as that will only lead to stress and a loss of fun.
If you had an excellent Friday night, it may be tempting to right away make plans to hang around again the next day. Instead, give it a few days and let yourself and your friends appreciate the great time you had. The next time you hang around, you will both be excited to see one another, making the experience even better.
2. Take off the rose-tinted glasses.
One of the reasons people get overly excited in new relationships is because we tend to idealize the other person at first. When you first meet someone you have a relationship with, it’s simple to get caught up in fantasies about how great your friendship or relationship will be.
However, having this fantasy comes with high and sometimes, unrealistic expectations. You may think you want to spend all of your time with this person, but you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
It’s important to remind yourself that this new person in your life is human, which means they are not perfect. Avoid placing it on a pedestal. They will make mistakes and it is important to be ready to forgive them, rather than be surprised that they are not perfect.
3. Practice the principle of exchange.
Think of your interaction with this person like a game of tennis or volleyball. Every time you make contact, you hit the ball to their side of the court. Then, you must wait for them to reply. Don’t keep hitting the ball to ensure they’re still interested in playing. If you feel needy, you may become anxious while waiting for an answer.
In such cases, take a deep breath. If you have already contacted them (emailed, texted, or left a voicemail), you do not need to call again. Whenever you feel the urge to contact them again, remind yourself that there are just a few possibilities:
- They have not received the message yet.
- They are too busy or preoccupied to respond. If you trust this person, give them the benefit of the doubt and pretend this is the case.
- They aren’t interested in hanging out at this time.
4. Avoid choking.
It does not matter how close you are to someone, spending all of your time with them will ultimately overwhelm you. Even if the person loves you, they do not want to be with you all day. If you find it hard to keep away from the person even for a brief time, it’s likely to cause problems in the relationship.
As difficult as it may be, try to give the person space. Spend time away from one another, engage in activities you enjoy, and do not contact them for a while. This will improve your relationship because it’s true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.
If you make the person feel confined or in command of your life, it will push them away.
5. Recognize the signs that the other person is no longer interested in you.
It could occur for many reasons, but one thing is for sure, showering them with more attention is not going to change their mind. Being persistent is not the solution. If the person is pulling away, it may be their way of ending the relationship without confronting you.
Further efforts on your part will not change how they feel, and you should bear in mind of that. If someone is not respectful enough to respond to you, they aren’t worth your time, you deserve better than that.
Consider whether the person is inconsistent in their behavior. Some people aren’t good at maintaining friendships or relationships, and they may be forgetful or lazy. However, most of the time if someone is unresponsive, it is not because they forgot to call you back, but because they chose not to.
It’s possible that other people just need time to focus on something else for a while. It does not necessarily spell the end of your relationship.
6. Respect other people’s decisions.
Being ignored or pushed aside can feel like rejection and can be painful. But once someone decides they want to move on, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind. Do your best to move on and avoid being pushy. Being aggressive or trying to hurt the other person in return will only make them further distance themselves.
7. Assess whether your needs are being met.
If the person you are thinking about does not reject you in an apparent way, but exhibits inconsistent behavior and seems to direct you, consider whether you actually want this person in your life. Just because you want to spend time with your friend or significant other does not make you “needy.”
All relationships take effort and time to maintain (1). If the person makes you feel like you are asking for too much, but you know you do not truly need it, then maybe the problem lies with someone else.
Decide how much time and attention you want to put into the relationship and determine how much you expect in return. If your expectations are reasonable but you all the time feel let down or ignored, it may be time to make new friends or a significant other who makes you feel valued and cared for.
Relationships aren’t easy to balance, it appears to be one person is trying harder than the other. It’s normal to have phases where one person is busy and the other is calling more often. However, if this is a constant pattern in your relationship and you do not think it will change, then it is best to end the relationship before it damages your self-esteem.
8. Busy yourself with other activities.
People who are busy with their own interests and goals are less likely to be needy, because they’re preoccupied with other things. These other things make them more interesting friends and partners. If you are doing nothing but waiting for somebody to call or write back, you are most likely bored and may seem boring.
So what are you waiting for? Set your own goals and desires and learn to enjoy your own company.
Explore new opportunities. Volunteer, join dancing, running, painting, join clubs. Put yourself out there, get entangled in a new activity, and have fun! All your worries will disappear and when the person contacts you it is going to be a pleasing surprise, not a source of anxiety.
9. Reach out to others regularly.
Relying your life on one person is not healthy for your mental well-being or self-worth. Create a habit of socializing, going out and interacting with others. Call other friends in your group rather than pouring all of your energy into one person.
Organize a group of friends to go to the films or dinner and do not spend time thinking about that one person. Respect all the other personalities in your life, you have the capacity to maintain more than one friendship.
10. It’s fully normal to be single and still live a fulfilling life.
Many single individuals find happiness in their freedom and independence, and are just as content as those in relationships. The key is to view having a relationship as a want rather than a need. When thoughts of needing a partner arise, remind yourself that you’re strong and independent.
Repeat positive affirmations like “I am complete on my own” to reinforce the idea that you do not need anyone else to be happy. Additionally, listening to music and watching films that promote independence and self-empowerment can be beneficial in strengthening this mindset.
11. Increasing your self-esteem can be an excellent way to deal with feelings of need.
Often, when people feel needy, it is because they care too much about others and do not value themselves enough. Instead of relying on other people to boost your self-esteem, understand that you’re the only person who can really do it. It’s fine to find happiness in other people, but that should not be your only source of happiness.
Doing things on your own or being single for a period of time can help you build your confidence and prove that you do not need anyone else to be happy. It’s important not to rush into a new relationship until you feel confident and assured, to avoid falling into old patterns.
12. Learning to trust others is essential for overcoming feelings of need.
When people do not trust others (2), can cause feelings of insecurity and anxiety. If you doubt the emotions of your partner or friend, or question their loyalty, ask yourself why you do not trust them. Is it because of something they did, or is it the result of past hurt from someone else?
Remember, it is unfair to judge one person based on the actions of another. If you care about someone and they’ve earned your trust, then it is important to give it to them. By working to build trust, you can overcome feelings of need and improve your relationships with others.
13. Embrace the benefits of independence.
When you have a powerful self-awareness and are less dependent on others, you become more attractive. Being independent and independent makes you more attractive to others. When you feel truly independent, you will have the ability to handle relationships with less anxiety and stress. You will value your alone time just as much as your time with other people.
Plus, you will also find that you can handle rejection or breakups with ease.
14. It is important to understand that the human mind is naturally inclined to have needs and desires.
When these needs and wants aren’t met, it can lead to feelings of need, boredom, and frustration. One way to combat it’s to channel this energy into activities you enjoy, such as taking up hobbies or pursuing relationships. People who seem to have none of these needs and wants may express them in constructive or creative ways, or perhaps these needs are already being met in other aspects of their lives.
For example, someone with a powerful group of friends may not appear to need new friends because that need is already being met. Likewise, a person who is pleased in his job may not seem to be needy when he’s working.
True helplessness comes from realizing that external factors, such as relationships or hobbies, are temporary and can’t truly satisfy us. True nothingness comes from internal realization and understanding that true contentment comes from within.
It is important to continue to pursue activities and relationships, but not seek fulfillment in them. Like the ocean, true powerlessness comes from humility and the understanding that true fulfillment can’t be found externally.
It’s normal to feel uncertain, but by understanding and accepting this part of human nature and trying not to be needy, you can find a sense of peace and contentment within yourself.
Thanks for reading this article on how to stop needing in relationships and I actually hope you take action on my advice.
I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.