In today’s article you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to keep secrets to yourself.
Holding secrets can bring both pleasure and responsibility. It is an honor to be trusted with someone’s secrets, but remember that breaking that trust can damage a relationship. And it is not just other people’s secrets that you may be keeping, you may additionally have secrets of your own, which can be just as hard to keep. Having the self-discipline to remain silent ensures secrets are kept safe and also upholds your reputation as someone you can depend on.
How To Keep A Secret To Yourself:
1. Before accepting a secret, consider the weight of the information.
It’s perfectly fine to ask for more information before someone tells you a secret, it will provide you with an idea of how important it’s and how much attention you should pay when the person discloses it.
Remember that some secrets are more important than others, and if it is a serious matter, you should be prepared to listen attentively. If the secret could have legal implications if shared, it is extremely important to watch out about maintaining confidentiality.
2. Ask about the duration of the secret you are keeping.
Keeping a secret can be less demanding if you know it is only temporary. On the other hand, if the person expects you to keep secrets endlessly, it is vital to know that up front.
3. Learn whether you are allowed to share your secrets with others.
Be sure to ask if it is okay to tell other people, such as a family member or spouse. By asking permission, it can stop uncomfortable situations where the person might be angry with you.
If you know you are going to tell someone, for example, your partner, be honest about it and let that person know that you will tell someone else. It is advisable to tell them about this before they reveal their secret to you.
4. Tell the person not to disclose secrets if you know you are not good at keeping them.
The person will appreciate your honesty, and they’ll still have the option to tell you, knowing that you can share it with others. A possible solution is to suggest that the person tell you their secret before they reveal it to anyone else, so you haven’t got to hold it in for a long time.
Studies have shown that keeping secrets can cause unnecessary stress, if you want to avoid this it’s better to refuse keeping secrets.
5. Consider the duration of the secret you’ll be keeping.
Some secrets may have a selected end date such as a pregnancy or a surprise gift, while others may not have a clear end point. In this case, you must decide when you want to reveal it.
It is advisable to wait a few days if you feel overwhelmed by the secret, this way you can stop making impulsive decisions about when to tell people and who to share it with. This time will let you calm down and make a more rational choice.
6. Develop a method to uncover secrets.
If you are sure you will be capable to tell someone in the future, making a plan for how and when to disclose it can help you keep the secret until then.
If the secret is interesting and you want to surprise someone, plan a creative way to tell them. For serious secrets, set up a private time and place to discuss it openly and honestly.
7. Divert your attention from secrets.
Engage in other activities, and avoid thinking about the secret. Constantly thinking about it will make it even harder not to express.
8. Consider the advantages of revealing your secret.
If the secret causes you distress, it may become a hindrance to your personal growth. Sharing it with someone can give them the opportunity to support you in ways you never thought possible.
9. Share your secret with one specific person.
If you decide to reveal, choose someone you trust. Reflect on your past interactions with that person, have they proven reliable and wise in the past?
Clearly communicate your expectations when disclosing secrets to the person, such as whether or not they are allowed to tell others and if so, with whom and when they can share it. Keep in mind, although, that by sharing with someone, the risk of spreading it to others increases.
10. Avoid discussing confidential topics with anyone.
If you start a conversation about secrets with someone, you may be more inclined to disclose them. Even if you do not intend to share the secret, you can still mention a related topic that may provide you with a chance to share it. Recognizing this potential can help you stop it from happening unconsciously.
11. Change the conversation if necessary.
If you are having a discussion with someone and they bring up something confidential, it is best to change the subject. Talking about something that reminds you of a secret will make it stand out more in your mind and may encourage you to disclose it.
Switch the subject smoothly so the person does not notice that you are trying to avoid telling them something. If necessary, find an excuse to leave the conversation, because sometimes that is the only way to maintain confidentiality.
12. Act as if you don’t have any knowledge.
If someone suspects that you know a secret, avoid asking them directly. You can feign ignorance by asking her the secret.
13. Be dishonest when necessary.
There may be situations where you need to lie (1) about having knowledge of secrets. If you decide to lie, remember what you said and ensure the story is consistent. It’s better to stick to a straightforward lie like saying you do not know, than to make up an elaborate story.
If someone is persistent in trying to get information from you, tell them “I can’t discuss this topic right now.” By saying this, you are admitting that you know something without giving away the secret. If the person continues to pry, politely ask them to stop questioning you.
15. Record and lose.
Documenting secrets in detail on paper and then disposing of them can be an effective way of exposing them. Make sure that you entirely destroy any evidence, such as safely burning it or tearing it to pieces.
If you decide to throw it away, tear it into small pieces and bury it in the trash. Another option could be to put the pieces in a different bin and throw them away instantly.
16. Find a secret online platform to share secrets.
There are several online communities where you can post secrets anonymously. To ensure your identity remains hidden, ensure you use a entirely anonymous environment.
17. Confide in inanimate objects.
Sharing a secret with a stuffed animal, pet, or collectible, may provide you with the feeling you have told someone. If you feel like you cannot take it anymore and you need to let them know, this can be a non-permanent solution.
Make sure that nobody is around to hear you, and that your phone and computer aren’t connected to any call or audio chat before talking to an object.
An alternative option is to tell a baby who is not yet able to speak, this may provide you with the feeling to tell someone while minimizing the risk of the secret being revealed.
18. Talk to your reflection.
If you feel like you need to tell someone, try opening up by talking to your reflection in the mirror. Imagine you have twins and talk to yourself as if you were talking to them.
This may seem uncommon, but it can help. As before, ensure you are in a location where nobody can hear you.
19. Release secret energy from your body.
Sometimes, keeping a secret can make you feel like you are about to explode. There is a physical connection between your body (2) and secrets, one way to release that energy is to engage in activities like screaming or dancing, anything that helps release the energy so you do not accidentally reveal the secret to someone.
20. Pick one person you can truly count on to share your secrets with.
If you must tell someone, ensure the person you choose is someone who can keep a secret. If the secret concerns someone else, consider telling a third party who does not know the real person.
If you decide to tell someone, ensure they understand that it is confidential and that they should not share it with anyone. Remember that by telling someone, the risk of disclosure increases and folks may find out that it was you who told them.
21. Assess the secret hazard level.
If the secret has the potential to harm someone, it may be essential to tell someone who can help, particularly if kids are involved. If someone causes harm or has caused harm to themselves or others, reporting it may be necessary.
In addition, if someone tells you about their involvement in criminal activity, you could be held legally responsible for not reporting it.
22. Understand if there’s a selected time or deadline for the secret.
If you are asked about possible disclosure of a secret while you know it, double-confirm that time is right before sharing it with others. Events like surprise parties will have a clear deadline for keeping things secret.
Ask if your gift for keeping secrets could be so you can tell someone yourself at the right time. Avoid sending secrets to anyone as that leaves evidence that it was you who disclosed them. Share the secret in real time.
Depending on the nature of the secret, you might not want to disclose to others that you knew before they did, because doing so could hurt the emotions of that person’s close friends or family.
23. Consider the advantages and downsides of revealing secrets.
Before deciding to share a secret with someone, consider the potential risk of lots of individuals finding out and damaging your reputation compared to the relief or satisfaction you might feel by telling someone the secret.
If you are thinking about sharing a secret, make a list of the pros and cons of doing so. This will help you make a more informed decision.
Thanks for reading this article on how to keep secrets to yourself and I actually hope you take my advice to heart.
I wish you good luck and that I hope that its content has been a good help to you.