How To Validate Someone’s Feelings: [17 Helpful Tips]

In this new article, you’ll find out how to validate someone’s feelings.

Validating feelings means accepting and recognizing one’s emotions as valid. In any good relationship, it is important to validate how someone feels when they’re upset. Begin by actively listening and responding in a straightforward and clear way.

Also, try to understand and relate to their feelings as much as possible. Remember, even if you do not agree with someone’s emotions or decisions, it is still important to acknowledge that their feelings are real and valid.

1. Give verbal feedback while the other person is talking.

This is the first step in validating someone’s feelings. Simple phrases like “I understand,” “Understood,” and “I hear you” can show the person who you are listening intently. This helps them feel heard and acknowledged.

2. Use nonverbal cues to communicate that you’re actively listening to someone.

This can include making eye contact, facing the person, and stopping other activities you may be doing. This will show them that you’re present, engaged and giving them your full attention.

Even if you are busy with something else, you can still show you are listening by sometimes looking at her and using other gestures like nodding or making a small sound of approval. If you have a disability that affects your body language, it is important to find other ways to convey that you are listening, such as fiddling with one hand or verbally indicating that you are paying attention.

3. Be present and involved when someone expresses their feelings, even if it’s difficult or uncomfortable for you.

Putting your own emotions aside and focusing on being there for him is a key aspect of validating his feelings. Some ways to show you are listening and present include holding their hand, making eye contact, sitting with them or providing a reassuring touch, and saying “I’m here” to show that you’re available to support them.

4. Match the energy and mood of the person you are talking to.

If someone is happy, try to reflect that excitement. If they’re sad, show empathy. If they’re nervous, be understanding and comforting. This helps them feel understood and acknowledged.

For example, if your best friend is actually enthusiastic about their first date, they may appreciate you getting excited with them, but if unsure, getting too excited can make them feel overwhelmed. It is extremely important to pay attention to the person’s energy level and respond accordingly.

5. When someone has finished expressing their feelings, it can be helpful to ask clarifying questions to better understand their thoughts and emotions.

This allows the person to elaborate and dig deeper into their feelings, which makes them feel heard and understood. An example of a clarifying question could be “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How do you feel about the situation?”

Asking such questions shows that you’re genuinely interested in understanding their perspective and validating their feelings.

6. One way to validate someone’s feelings is to repeat their words after they’ve finished expressing their thoughts and emotions.

This can help them feel heard and understood. Repeating back what they said may sound strange, but it helps to clarify and ensure the points they want to make.

Some examples of the way they repeat themselves are: “So you’re saying you’re frustrated because you’re not getting enough attention from the teacher?” or “I understand that you are very excited by this news”, “It seems difficult for you” or “So you feel hurt because my brother made fun of your accent, and I didn’t interfere, is that true?”

7. When someone shares their thoughts and feelings, it is necessary to listen more than talk.

Even if you have helpful insight to offer, it is important to hold back and let the person speak without interrupting or interrupting (1). Avoid giving advice at this stage as it can make the person feel like you are not admitting their feelings.

Instead, focus on actively listening and being there for them. They may come to their own understanding of the situation just from your presence and listening attentively.

8. After someone has shared their thoughts and feelings, it can be helpful to try and understand them better by encouraging them to describe their emotions.

For example, you could say something like “You seem hurt, can you tell me more about that?” This shows the person who their feelings are important to you and that you are attempting to understand them.

If you are right in your guess, they will most certainly elaborate on their feelings and supply more information, if you’re wrong, they will correct you and offer you a better understanding of their true feelings. This process allows the person to elaborate and process their thoughts more effectively.

9. One way to help someone feel validated is to share an analogous experience that you have had.

If possible, describe a situation you have been in that’s similar to that person’s. Then, discuss how you feel and how understandably they feel. This can help the person feel understood and acknowledged.

For example, if a friend wasn’t invited to their sister’s vacation, you could say something like, “I understand how you feel, being left out is never easy. I had a similar experience, my brother and cousins ​​go camping every year and I was never included. Makes me feel sad and disappointed. I understand why you feel upset about not being invited to your sister’s trip, it’s not fun feeling left out.”

10. If you have never experienced something similar, you can still help validate the person’s feelings by normalizing their reactions.

You can say something like “I believe many people in your situation would feel the same way.” This implies that their emotions are valid and that they’ve a right to feel how they feel.

Some examples of normalizing statements are: “It’s understandably nervous to get a flu shot, it’s not a pleasant experience for anyone.” “It’s normal to be afraid to ask for a promotion, it can be intimidating to anyone.” “It’s fine if you don’t want to go out today, that’s understandable considering the situation.”

11. Another way to validate someone’s feelings is to acknowledge how their personal history can influence their emotions.

This is particularly helpful if a person feels their reactions are irrational or unreasonable. Even if their reaction seems over the top, it is important to remind them that their feelings are valid.

Some examples of acknowledging personal history are: “Given your past experiences with Amy, I totally understand why you wanted to stop dating, that must be tough.” “I can see how the last roller coaster ride might have left you doubtful about this one. Would you like to try the merry-go-round instead?” “Given your previous experience of being bitten by a dog, I can understand why you would be nervous about your neighbour’s new dog.”

12. Never try to correct or change someone’s thoughts or feelings, particularly when they’re upset.

Even if you think their thoughts or feelings are irrational, trying to get them out of the way can be seen as emotionally debilitating to them.

For example, rather than saying “That’s inappropriate to be angry with” implying that the person’s feelings aren’t valid, you could say something like “I can understand why that made you angry” or “You seem really upset.”

Remember, validating someone’s feelings doesn’t suggest you must agree with them, it just means acknowledging and accepting them.

13. When someone shares their problems with you, they often just want to be heard.

Before offering unsolicited advice like “just ignore them” or “look on the bright side,” take a moment to actually listen to what they’ve to say. Try to empathize with their feelings and let them process their emotions.

If you want to help, start with active listening and provide them space to express themselves. After they’ve had an opportunity to process their feelings, you can ask them if they need advice or if there’s anything you can do to help.

If you are not sure, it is all the time a good idea to ask, “Are you coming to me for advice or just wanting to vent?” This will give them an opportunity to clarify what they need from you.

14. Choose the most appropriate form of validation.

If you can’t personally empathize with the person, don’t try to make comparisons (2), instead, offer a more general form of validation. Also, it is important not to minimise the uniqueness of what that person is experiencing.

For example, if a friend tells you about their suspected ADHD, do not say “everyone is disorganized sometimes” or if someone talks a couple of mean boyfriend, do not say “all men are insensitive.” If they feel the experience is unique, respect that feeling.

Also, it is important not to pretend you know what something is like if you have not experienced it yourself. For example, if a friend is going through a divorce and you have never been divorced before, do not try to empathize directly by bringing up the breakup you are going through, but validate using more general terms like “It’s totally understandable that you feel that way. person.”

15. It is very important to avoid blaming someone for their feelings, especially when they are upset.

Blaming someone for their emotions can be seen as invalidating them.

Some examples of responses to avoid are: “You’re just complaining, it’s not going to change anything, just be strong and deal with it.” “You made a big deal out of nothing.” “So you choose to be mad at your best friend, How did that work out for you?” “Maybe he wouldn’t treat you like that if you weren’t wearing a short skirt like that.”

These responses are belittling and blaming the person for their feelings, it is important to avoid them and instead validate the person’s emotions without blaming them.

16. Not trying and “pushing away” one’s feelings, which means trying to pretend that negative feelings do not exist by ignoring them.

Some examples of hoovers are: “Oh, it wasn’t that bad.” “That’s no big deal.” “Let’s focus on the positive.” “Everything will work out in the end, do not worry.” “Be strong.” “Just look on the bright side.”

These phrases belittle and belittle the person’s feelings, instead of validating them, it’s important to acknowledge and accept their feelings without trying to drown them out.

17. When someone is upset, it’s natural to want to make them feel better, but sometimes trying to fix how they feel can be counterproductive.

It can make them feel like their feelings aren’t valid, and they need to deal with it now. Instead, try to listen to the whole story and validate their feelings along the way. If they are open to your help, you can ask how you can help or offer brainstorming solutions.

When brainstorming, it’s important to be careful not to tell them what to do, instead, you can express your own perspective and give them the freedom to decide what works for them.

For example, instead of saying “You need to let him go,” try saying “Personally, I try to let go of individuals I do not want in my life, and focus on the people who are important.” This allows them to make their own decisions about how to proceed, instead of feeling pressured to have it your way.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article on how to validate someone’s feelings. I actually hope that its content has been of good help to you.