What Is Forgiveness And Why Is It Important For Your Life

In this new article you’ll learn what is forgiveness and why is it important.

As you look back on your life, do you condemn yourself for the mistakes you have made? Do you feel angry with or disappointed in yourself for the things you have done?

If so, you aren’t alone.

Most of us feel bad about something from our past. The negative feelings stop us from moving on with our lives. Instead, we spend our time in sorrow, depression and anger.

What Is Forgiveness And Why Is It Important

Everyone has done something regrettable.

Most of us look for somebody to blame and punish for these mistakes. We tend to hold grudges against ourselves or others. We allow past mistakes to haunt us and follow us throughout our lives.

It is difficult to think of these past mistakes with compassion. We want to strike out at the person who did wrong, even if it’s ourselves.

Yet we can forgive ourselves and others for all these unfortunate incidents. We can let go of the past and move forward into a better and more fulfilling life.

A life spent in self torture is not inevitable simply because you have said or done something wrong. You can forgive yourself.

All you need are the right tools and data.

Then, you can use these tools to conquer your self-blame and begin making healthier, more productive choices.

The first step in forgiving yourself is to understand what the word really means. The explanations used in this chapter are based on the way experts use this and related words.

These professional insights can help you refine your understanding of forgiveness.

While people use the word “forgiveness’ in a variety of casual ways, psychologists have developed a definition that describes forgiveness more precisely. To understand what forgiveness is, first learn what it is not.

What Forgiveness Is Not

Denial

Denial means that you do not accept the fact that you have done something you know is wrong. You do not forgive by denying you have done something you regret.

You know you have, and any amount of self-talk to the contrary is not likely to convince you that it did not happen or have a significant impact.

Pardoning

“Pardoning” is usually used for forgiveness. In fact, most standard American Dictionaries list “forgive” as a synonym for “pardon.”

However, psychologists who study forgiveness make a distinction between the two. From the angle of research psychologists, pardon is a legal term.

It means to end imprisonment or any other governmental punishment for a crime. Therefore, you don’t pardon yourself when you practice self forgiveness.

However, you use pardon correctly if you speak in a strictly metaphorical sense, such as when you release yourself from self-punishment.

Excusing

An excuse is an answer you give to the question of why you did something.

Some of the answers you give are literally reasons, because you have applied sound thought processes to understand the true causes of your actions.

However, most of the time, the first answers that come to mind are less truthful and more self-excusing.

When you end up saying “But it is not my fault!” you need to examine those answers carefully to distinguish between phony excuses and real reasons.

Condoning

It is impossible to forgive yourself if you condone what you did. If you condone it, you are saying that you didn’t do anything wrong.

Your actions were “okay” and there’s nothing to forgive.

As you read this article, you can learn to assess your thoughts and actions and make a decision whether or not they’re acceptable. And, if they aren’t, you can find out how to forgive.

Forgetting

It is occasionally possible to forgive and forget.

Once you accomplish the act of forgiveness, the issue might become so unimportant to you that you no longer consider it. In most cases, although, it is much better to forgive and learn.

Then, you can take your new knowledge with you into a brighter future.

Reconciliation

Forgiveness is not reconciliation, even though it may lead to a stronger relationship with the person who wronged you.

In the case of self forgiveness, you might forgive yourself and still feel negative feelings about yourself (1).

These are leftover feelings from the time you spent not liking or loving yourself because of what you did. You can conquer these negative emotions and gain a better sense of self appreciation.

What Forgiveness Is

A Decision

Forgiveness is not a feeling that comes automatically when you do or someone else does something wrong.

It comes as a result of making a decision – a conscious, deliberate decision to release the negative emotions towards the person who has wronged you.

A Response

When you hurt yourself or are hurt by others, it’s normal to react in some way.

You have thoughts and feelings about the issue, and might take some action towards the person who hurt you.

Forgiveness is a special response to wrongful deeds. It is all about choosing a more positive answer to the error.

An Attitude

Once you find out how to forgive, you can begin to make it a lifelong habit. You reflect it in the way you think, feel and behave when you’re hurt.

By having a forgiving attitude, you can change your life and the lives of the people you care about most.

A Process

Forgiveness barely comes in a blinding flash. More often, we forgive a little at a time.

Do not be discouraged if you don’t instantly feel utterly healed. You can continue working on forgiving yourself until the task is complete.

A Skill

Ironically, it would be easy at this point to start blaming yourself (2) because you haven’t forgiven yourself or others.

You might ask yourself, “Why can’t I forgive? What’s wrong with me?”

What you might not realize is that forgiveness is learnable. It is a skill you can cultivate and nurture until it becomes a simple decision, an automatic response, and a lifelong attitude.

Make a pledge to be compassionate with yourself as you work through the process. Promise yourself you’ll learn the skill of forgiveness.

A Behavior

Forgiveness isn’t just about the way you think. The actions you take when you decide to forgive represent another important part of forgiveness.

As you read this text, consider how you want to behave after you have forgiven yourself.

An Emotional Change

You reach the point of emotional forgiveness when you no longer feel the resentment, bitterness or anger over the hurt that you or others caused.

You feel happier, more peaceful and stronger. When you accept forgiveness, the emotional change allows you reap rewards of both mental and physical health.

How Is Forgiving Yourself Different from Forgiving Others?

When you forgive others, you must do it on the basis of your own perceptions. You cannot base it on the other person’s intentions.

The truth is that no matter how well you know the person, you can never truly know what goes on in his or her mind.

You cannot know exactly what caused them to do what they did, so you must forgive them irrespective of their innocence or guilt.

Another difference is that the person you forgive might or might not conform to put the error in the past. They might keep blaming you and punishing you for years.

On the other hand, when you forgive yourself, you know your own mind and emotions. You can analyze why you did something.

Once you understand the source of the problem, you can accept it and make a plan for handling similar situations in better ways.

In addition, you can decide to put your mistakes in the past and leave them there.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about what is forgiveness and why is it important. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.